Unwanted Christmas Traditions

I have to post this only because it has been bothering me for the last week.  I almost had to deal with a dreaded Christmas tradition last week.  I have to give a little background for this to make sense.  Years ago when I still getting used to being diabetic and dealing with the symptoms of the disease I would get sick, really sick.  My most serious cases of illness would occur near the holidays.  It was so bad that my family and friends grew to anticipate me being sick around Thanksgiving and/ Christmas.  Fast forward to December 2011.  I am an insulin-dependent diabetic who currently uses a pump.  On Saturday, December 17th, my pump ran out of insulin while at work.  No big deal. Just call the pharmacy for a refill. Unfortunately, I left job one and went to job two without going by the pharmacy.  Still no reason to panic.  Although I was treading into dangerous water, I knew I could survive for a little while.  I left work that night and went to my emergency plan which was to use an insulin pen until i could refill my pump.  I was feeling ok Sunday and went to work planning to grab my regular insulin on the way to job 2.  I made the mistake of going to job 2 again.  So Sunday night was rough.  I couldn't sleep.  Although I was tired, my body would not relax.  Monday morning I felt like crap.  I tried to get up for work.  Then everything caught up with me.  I started throwing up.  That is the one sign I hate to see. Every single time in the past when I was at that point with my illness, the next step was a trip to ICU.  I refused to go this year.  After dealing with my wife's hospitalization last Christmas, I couldn't do that to my kids.  Good news is that the house was still asleep and no one was aware of how sick I was.  I took a massive dose of insulin from the pen and prayed.  I was able to make it to work, but initially was not very functionalble.  My manager told me that I should have stayed home.  I explained I just needed time for the insulin to get in my bloodstream.  I also told her that I would go to the pharmacy as soon as it opened for my regular insulin.  Luckily, everything worked out.  No hospital trip and no one was hurt.  I'm happy I was able to dodge the bullet of that unwanted Christmas Tradition. 

Christmas 2011

Here is how Christmas 2011 went for my fam.  First of all, we celebrated Christmas on December 21, 2011 because my wife and kids were scheduled to spend a few days at my mother’s house.  So once it got dark, we went to go look at light displays.  I was under the impression that my wife had mapped all the locations out.  NO! She was going off of some damn Facebook recommendations with shit for directions. We did see a couple of nice houses but for the most part, I was not impressed.  We came home and let the kids open their presents.  They were all excited for the gifts they received.  I gave my wife her gifts.  I both her 5 sweater dresses.  I told her she had one from each child, one from me and one from her nephew.  Thursday, the family left for mom’s house.  That’s it. No major scores and no major catastrophes. Thus ends Christmas 2011. On to the next year. 

Who's Right

My nephew has been staying with us for a little while now.  I’m trying to give him a chance to get on his feet because I feel he was dealt a bad hand in life and no one told him how to play the cards.  With that in mind, he is getting conflicting information on relationships from my wife and myself.  He currently has one child, a possible second and then there is the girl he is dating (who happens to have a child herself.)  My wife thinks he should be with the mother of his first child.  I attribute this to the fact that my wife is baby crazy and enjoys watching the baby any chance she gets even though she is not caring for the 3 children that are naturally hers.  I have only had one interaction with the young lady and that was when she was dropping the baby off to my wife.  I got a quick hi and bye.  The other young lady that he is currently dating has had a conversation with me.  I explained to my nephew that he has to choose someone he is willing to wake up alongside of for the rest of his life.  It needs to be someone who takes care of him emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically.  In his mind, the young lady his is dating and not the mother of his child is that person.  I hope he makes the best decision for his situation.

Raising the Kids

It amazes me how my wife tries to make me a villain to my kids.  Some people say that I am harsh and cruel.  I feel I am realistic.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t beat my kids with belts and have them scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush.  But I do have high expectations for them and I am trying to raise them to see the world for the harsh place it is.  When my kids start crying because they can’t get their way, I tell them to knock that shit off.  Yes I raise my voice.  Yes I curse them. But I don’t put a hand on any of my girls unless the crime warrants it.  With that in mind, I am thinking about 2 recent events with my eldest daughter.  Issue #1 – supposedly the eldest tried to trip our middle daughter or some foolishness like that.  The middle child came in crying.  I asked the eldest what happened and warned her that lying would not make things any better.  She explained that they had been playing and she may have hurt the middle girl.  My wife decides the appropriate punishment is to punch my eldest in the arm repeatedly. Now the eldest runs down the hall crying.  It took everything in me not to put that bitch through a wall at that point. I did confront her and did explain that if she ever hit one of my children like that again, I would put her out of her misery, without hesitation or regret.  Issue #2 – my wife instructed the eldest to take care of cleaning the kitchen.  During the process, the child decided to throw a porcelain coffee mug across the room into the sink.  Needless to say, gravity took over and the cup shattered.  I was at work so I got a phone call from my wife saying my child was throwing cups.  WTF? I’m at work! You are the one at the house. She is yours as much as she is mine. You can’t talk to and discipline your own child?  So I talked to the eldest and when she explained what she did, I laughed. I said okay and hung the phone up.  As days go by, I continue to question my decision to try and raise kids with this woman. 

The Christmas Loan

I realize this post is going up after Christmas but I feel I need to share the foolishness I had to deal with going into the holiday.  A little over a week ago, my wife approached me about getting Christmas gifts for the girls.  I gave her my best WTF look and explained that I didn’t have any money for gifts. Between the increase payments for my new truck, insurance and other household expenses, I was beyond broke.  She thought we needed to tell the kids that we could not afford to get them anything for Christmas. Are you fucking serious? You expect me to tell my kids that I cant afford to get them a damn thing for Christmas although I work 2 jobs and they hardly see me?  So the next option was to try and get a loan.  She decides to go to the place where I got my loan. Cool. They know me so I know they will work with you. WRONG! Because you try to get the loan with just your income. Quick denial.  So when I left work, I go by and talk to the manager who is a friend from college.  He quickly explains the problem.  He tells me that if we add me to her application, she should get approved.  We add my info and voila! Instant approval.  I placed a call and told my wife to pick up  the check on her way home.  So as usual, thanks to my connections and hard work, things worked out.  My wife was able to get the girls Christmas stuff.

Still Need More Posts

I actually have a list of topics I want to write about.  I've had the list for over a week now.  There probably should be a lot more things to write about because so much has happened recently.  But my busy schedule just has not allowed me to post much.  I'm going to try and make a real effort to post a lot of stuff over the next few days.  My goal is to have all of the events for 2011 posted by New Year's Eve so I can start 2012 off on a clean slate.

Car Loan

in an effort to help my nephew out as well as myself, I suggested that he look for a car to get around in.  That would keep him from depending on other people to get to and from work and other places.  That would also stop him from driving our vehicles uninsured.  He started scouring the internet and I suggested that he wait until tax season to make his purchase.  One of his co-workers learned that he was looking for a vehicle and informed him of a car for sale.  The purchase price was $1500.  Obviously my nephew did not have that type of money available.  In order to get the money, I suggested he take out a loan.  His bank denied him because he has no credit history.  He went to a loan agency and they were willing to give him the money if he had a co-signer.  There is where I come in.  I co-signed on the loan in hopes of my nephew continuing to turn his life around for the better.  I just hope I made a wise decision in signing for this car loan.

Back from New Orleans – NO way in

Well, despite my overwhelming dissatisfaction with the thought, my wife went on her trip to Orleans.  She left out last Friday and returned on Sunday.  Since she decided to leave at noon, I was forced to drop my kids off for the weekend because I had to work.  There is a little joy in this situation.  Prior to her leaving, I told my wife I would change the locks if she went out of town.  So of course I changed the locks.  When she got back from New Orleans, I was at work.  She called me and asked, “did you change the locks?”  My response, “isn’t that what I told you I was going to do?”  She ended up getting the spare key from my nephew.  I did it just to prove a point.  I just wanted to let her know, I don’t make idle threats.

Need more posts

I have got to get in the habit of posting more often.  I let so much time pass by in between posts, I often leave stuff out. May have to start posting daily or at least every other day. 

People Pleaser

One of the hardest things we have to do in life is learn to take our own advice.   It’s easy to dish it out to anyone who is willing to listen.  But what happens when the person that needs to hear it most is the man in the mirror?  During the last 24 hours, I have had to really think about taking some of my own advice.  I always tell people that you can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time.  There is another side to the story that I always neglect.  When trying to please others, don’t forget about the most important person – yourself.  Due to recent events, I feel that I have gone above and beyond trying to please people and the return on investment is not there.  That’s okay.  It’s time I stop trying to be a people pleaser and start taking care of numero uno. 

Unexplainable Pain

I’m really starting to get nervous about my health.  I am continuing to have unexplainable pains.  They never last long, no more than a few seconds.  But they are always a few seconds too long.  I have been fortunate that none of the pains have occurred in situations which put me or others in jeopardy.  Unfortunately they are becoming for frequent and more unpredictable.  I just hope that I don’t do anything to put myself or anyone I care about in jeopardy.

Is it just a dream?

I had a dream this morning.  It was scary how real it was.  I woke up clutching the blanket I was under.  I was panicked and disoriented.  It took a moment to realize where I was.  Once I gained my composure, I still could not calm down.  My heart continued to race.  The dream has me worried not because of how real it was.  It has me worried because it actually played out a possible upcoming event in my life.  The dream has me worried because the vision it portrayed was not something I want.  I am hoping I can use this dream as a forewarning and prevent a major disaster.

Self Reliant

Today I was reminded of something very important.  I gotta get back to being self reliant.  I have let stress and fatigue lead me down a road to allow others into my life and to start to depend on them.  This has proven once again to be a mistake.  But I’m a big boy.  I’m not going to cry.  I am simply going to do as I always do and learn from my mistakes.  I won’t do this shit again.

My Hard Work Benefits Others

Today was good day for my nephew thanks to me.  Thanks to my hard work, I was able to co-sign on a loan so that he could get a car.  He picked up the car, got the tag and even got the front end aligned.  Next task is deciding which auto insurance company to go with.  I’m happy I was able to help.  I think he may finally be trending in the right direction to a better life. 

Idle Threats

It’s not very often that I make idle threats except when it comes to beating my kids.  I will threaten them to within an inch of their lives but it takes a whole lot to bring me to the point of getting physical with them.  My wife still plans on going on her trip this weekend even though I have made it perfectly clear I do not agree with the idea.  I reminded her on yesterday that if she decides to go, the locks will be changed upon her return.  She told me to stop making idle threats.  I guess we will wait and see how idle this threat truly is.