WTF Moment - Common Sense

I was at work last night and overheard a conversation between two guys.  I just shook my head and laughed to myself at the lack of common sense.

Two guys are looking at an episode on Duck Dynasty on the television.

guy 1:  You ever watch this show?
guy 2:  Duck Dynasty?  not really.  caught a few minutes here and there but I don't watch it.
guy 1:  I don't really watch it either but I saw part of an episode and the house they stay in is huge.
guy 2:  yea.  I think they are famous for wrestling alligators or some shit like that
guy 1:  Really?  I thought it was called Duck Dynasty because they invented some type of duck call.
guy 2:  That would make sense.

WTF?!! Where in the da hell did you come up with the idea that a show called Duck Dynasty was based on some alligator wrestlers?  Common sense is not always applied to everyday conversation.   

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that I am going to get a new cell phone.  The bad news is that I have to replace my old phone because it took a 2hour bath in a puddle of water.

The good news is that I got the opportunity to deliver pizzas on Monday and make some decent tips.  The bad news is that my account is $150 overdrawn and tips can't make up for that.

The good news is that I finally have a Thanksgiving Day off.  The bad news is that my family is out of town and I am off because I lost my job.

There are 2 sides to every story.  The side you see depends on your perspective. 

What I am Thankful For

Like a lot of people at this time of year, I have really been thinking about what I am thankful for.  I'm going to share some of these thoughts with you but keep in mind this is not an all-inclusive list. 

I'm thankful for the life I have. 
I'm thankful for all the good and bad times because they made me who I am.
I'm thankful for that bastard that got my mother pregnant. I wouldn't be here if not for him.
I'm thankful for true friends - those ride or die people who always have my back.
I'm thankful for my mother - nuff said.
I'm thankful for my old family - they taught me about hard work.
I'm thankful for my new family - my daughters give me a reason to always work hard.
I'm thankful for my old manager - I should have paid more attention to the details of the picture she kept painting rather than just admiring the colors
I'm thankful for my current manager - although we butt heads, we can agree to disagree and get the job done
I'm thankful for a special someone - I think about her everyday because she touched my heart in a way no one else ever has or ever will.

Thanksgiving 2013

Thanksgiving 2013 is just minutes away.  I get to spend this Thanksgiving by myself.  Well, I have my dog here but that is it.  The wife and kids are at her mother's house with an expected return date of Friday.  For the past week I had been telling coworkers that I was going to go the the local Waffle House for Thanksgiving and grab food for me and the dog.  Kinda hard to do that when your account is overdrawn so I am going with plan B.  I found some steaks in the freezer.  I am going to toss a couple of strips of the indoor grill and call it a day.  Thanksgiving 2013 won't be spent with family and friends.  Then again, I never really spend holiday time with family and friends because usually I am work.  Oh well. Funny how life goes sometimes. 

Twenty-three and 3

  The nephew welcomed baby number 3 into the world on Tuesday.  I was talking to some of my co-workers about his situation and I told them how sorry I am for the child.  This is his 3rd child.  This is his 3rd baby mama.  He has a high school education.  He has a felony (sex offender) charge on his record.  No college. He currently works at a fast food restaurant.  That is not the type of situation you want to bring a child into. 

Visit with the Psychologist - Daddy Issues

During yesterday's session, the doctor decided to address my comment about having daddy issues.  She tried to refer back to my test results to back up her claim that I indeed had daddy issues.  First of all, if the test had revealed those results, you would have addressed it sooner than now.  We discussed the person I call my sperm donor since I do not consider him to be my father.  I explained that even though I was an only child, I had enough positive male role models to keep me going.  She asked what I knew about my father and I told her nothing.  I told her that the one time I laid eyes on him I was about 6-7 yrs old and did not know who he was because he did not introduce himself to me as my parent.  He was simply a friend of the family. I wouldn't know him today if he stood in front of me.  I continued to explain the only other time I have ever spoken to the man was after my accident years ago.  I told the doctor the conversation was not pleasant for him because I had no love for him and know desire to get to know him.  Even if my family did not want him around when I was little, once I was out of the house/grown/taking care of myself, he could have reached out to me.  I basically summed up my feelings to the doctor by saying, "you can't miss what you never had."  The doctor tried to stick to her train of thought and told me I should try to talk to my family about my daddy to see what happened and if there is any chance of him being in my girls' lives.  I had to bite my tongue before I said "hell no." 

You Remind Me of Someone

I find myself surrounded by constant reminders of a very close friend who moved away earlier this year.  I'm not sure if it is because I am missing her more these days or if I just purposely set myself up like this when she was living here.  Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. 

The rug in my room - it used to belong to her
The picture of the tiger she gave me - feels like her watchful eyes are always checking on me
My roses - I remember all the times I would go pick her up and have one waiting in the cup holder for her so she would have a reason to smile
My truck - she is one of two other people who know the keyless entry code.  If she ever needed my vehicle, she didn't even have to ask.  She could just get in and go.
The moon - The full moon was this past Sunday.  I remember spending nights with her just looking at it
Burger King - I remember picking up an order with extra ketchup many times for her
Waffle House - we sat and laughed with friends here often
Blankets - I have several blankets she gave to me upon her move.  I wrap myself in them as I think about her.

The list goes on.  Our history shapes who we are.  Luckily I have so much to remind me of my wonderful recent past.   

Changing Season Brings Fond Memories

My area of the world experienced some colder than normal temperatures this week. It was so cold that the fall garden I was waiting to harvest as well as some flowers which were holding on for dear life died.  Oh well, thus is the way of nature.  The cold weather also brought back some very pleasant memories.  I was driving home the other night and put my hands up to the vents to try and warm them up.  I started thinking about my routine for visiting someone I loved very much.  When she lived here, I would make it a point to go and see her.  Knowing that she would be nice enough to give me a hug upon my arrival, I made it a point to try and warm up as much as possible.  I would literally drive with one hand and hold the other in front of the vent to gain warmth.  I repeated the process until I arrived at her home.  Those were the kind of hugs which let you know you were truly loved.  The kind of hugs where you never want to let go.  On some lucky nights, I would fall asleep with her in my arms.  Some of the best sleep in my life.  I really miss her. Good thing is that I have many great memories to remind me of her.

Be Careful What You Ask For

I told my wife this evening I was about to leave the house to go run a few errands.  She asked if she could go.  Big mistake.  If I did not invite you nor did I ask if you needed anything back, that should have clued you in that I really did not want to have anything to do with you during this excursion.  I told her she was welcome to ride with me.  The trip consisted of going to a friend's apartment to drop something off, pick up some food and drop the food off at another location inside the friend's car.  I guess it may help to tell you that I have a copy of the apartment key and the car key and the friend is female.  So once we return home, the wife decides to play 20 questions.  Be careful what you ask for.  She asked about the keys and I said the friend gave them to me earlier in the day to take care of the errand.  She called me a liar stating the keys had been in my truck for some time.  In order for you to know the keys were in MY truck in the center console out of plain sight, that means you have been snooping. At this point I got pissed. I told my wife it didn't matter what I said to her at this point because she already had in her mind what she thought was going on with my and the young lady.  She walked off and said we would talk about it later because I was mad.  Be careful what you ask for.  The truth might not be what you really want. 

Visits with the Psychologist - Hours 7 & 8

I failed to blog about what happened in therapy last week.  Good news is that it basically led into this week's session.  The last 2 hours with my counselor have been about me and this repressed anger I have.  She said I tend to ignore problems rather than voice my true feelings, especially when it comes to my wife.  She also stated that she felt I was codependent.  I was supposed to look up codependency and report back to her this week.  I looked up the condition and realized it could apply to me in some instances.  I also realized that this doctor is basing her information about what I am telling her.  As I have told many of my family and friends, I will never be an open book and spill everything to a medical professional.  All the craziness in my mind is not appropriate for public knowledge.  I had actually told the doctor I would be unable to continue seeing her due to my current financial situation.  She said she was willing to work with my on the payments.  That's nice - I guess.  I agree with one of my friends said.  The doctor is intrigued by me and how I cope.  She is really trying to break down my walls and get to know the real me.  Lots of luck with that.  I'm 36 years old and the walls I built are hella sturdy.  You can't break them down.  A couple of people have managed to get my assistance in climbing over the wall to get to the real me but that's a whole 'nother story. 

Another Blast from the Recent Past

Yesterday I received a call from a woman asking me to verify employment for Bill Johnson.  I thought about it for a second and then realized who she was referring to.  I never called Bill by his formal name so hearing it caught me off guard.  After giving a rave review and singing his praises, I sent Bill a text message asking him to call me.  Minutes later my phone rang.  I had not talked to Bill in nearly a year.  I joked with him and stated it would have been nice to be forewarned about the call.  He stated he had just interviewed for the job Monday so he was not expecting the company to call so quickly.  We talked and joked about changes in out lives over the last year.  We also promised to keep in touch.  Yet another blast from the past.  This has been a good week.

Different Parenting Styles

Today was one of those days most parents dread.  My wife came to me and said she caught our oldest daughter watching porn on her laptop.  I looked at my wife and said ok.  A little while later I spoke with our daughter and laid down so basics:  1) Sex does not happen like it does in pornography - those are paid actors.  2) No more watching porn when the younger girls are around.  3) You not fucking so I'm not worried.  4) I don't even want to know which one of your friends told you what site to go to for porn.  That was it. End of conversation as far as I was concerned.  My wife said, "so what should be her punishment?  Are we going to take her laptop?"  I looked at her and said, "for fucking what?  We have another laptop and 2 desktops all with internet access.  I am not about to go through the trouble of restricting access to adult material on all those computers.  Plus, don't you watch porn?  I'd rather her watch it here at the house than somewhere else with some freaky ass boy or girl."  Obviously my wife was not pleased with my answer but hey, as the saying goes "Don't ask the question if you really don't want to know the answer." 

Blast From The Past

I received a somewhat cryptic text message today from an old friend.  I had not been in contact with this person in over 5 years.  Since some people change cell numbers like people change underwear, she was cryptic so not to reveal her identity to a complete stranger.  Lucky for her I never delete my contacts so her name appeared with the message.  We went back and forth via text for a few minutes and then I ended up calling her because I was driving to work.  We quickly caught up on each other's present family situation.  She mentioned that she was still in contact with people from the old job.  She sent me a picture of her daughter who could be her twin.  She also sent me a picture of herself.  She still looks the same after all these years.  It was refreshing to hear her voice...made me really miss the people I used to work with.  We agreed to keep in touch going forward.  Talking to her was truly a blast from the fun part of my past. 

What Brings People Together

I decided to do some yard work on Wednesday because I was slightly bored. (Yes I know there are other things to do besides yard work when you are bored.)  I raked all the leaves in the front yard, bagged them up and trimmed some of the lower branches on an overgrown shrub (I prefer having a clear line of sight to the street at all times.)  I was about to call it a day when I noticed several dead buds on my roses.  I figured what the hey and commenced to removing the dead flowers.  As I was working a lady who was driving, stopped in the middle of the street and asked if I live here.  I gave her a slightly puzzled look because I have lived in the same residence for 5 years.  She wanted to compliment me on the roses.  I asked her to pull into the driveway so she would not block traffic since she wanted to have a conversation.  We talked about everything from her losing her mother at the age of 8, to the fact she had brain damage due to a car accident to her work as a writer and an artist.  One of the biggest takeaways from the conversation was when she said I should consider starting my own business because she could tell I enjoyed being outside and working with the flowers.  I never thought about opening my own landscaping business but anything is possible.  My conversation with her was proof that you never know what will bring seemingly opposite people together.  

The Butterfly Effect

I was at a friend's apartment last night and we watched "The Butterfly Effect" on Encore.  She had never seen the movie before.  I had the privilege of watching it in the past so I did my best not to provide any spoilers while watching.  I just kept reminding her of the overall theme of the movie - one small change in the past could have a huge impact on the future.  Once the movie was over, we discussed what if someone really could change the past by reliving the moments.  I thought about some situations in my life such as:  what if I actually built a relationship with my father?  what if I actually dated the one who got away in high school?  what if I had not married my wife?  Then as usual I shrugged it all off and said, "If I could change the past, I wouldn't.  My past made me the person I am today.  I don't think I would be where I am if I had not experienced life as I did and made the bonds with certain people that I hold dear."  The butterfly effect.  It's a nice concept but I hope it never becomes a reality.  

Yesterday was a good day.

I was meaning to post this last night but time got away from me (maybe due to the daylight savings time thing but anyway).  Yesterday was full of highlights.  The best part of my day was getting to talk to one of my best friends.  I had not actually talked to her in a while although we correspond through email and text.  To actually hear her voice for those couple of minutes was like hearing an angel.  I didn't think anything could come close to that and I knew nothing could top it.  The second good thing that happened to me was that I was able to get through an online interview and secure a work at home tech support job.  Now the pay is about half of what I was making prior to my termination but some income is better than none at all.  So yesterday was a good day.