Rick Ross Money - BMF

The nephew got his income tax refund last week and in true BMF fashion, I think he is broke already.  He paid me part of the $1300 he owes me.  He gave a significant amount to his baby mama cause he claimed his little girl on taxes.   Another $2000+ was invested into a used car from the local dealer.  I'm happy he was able to get the car with no co-signer which means I have no part in that equation.  Now that he has reliable transportation, I hope he is able to secure more hours at work or find a second job so he can start working on saving money.  If he continues down his usual path, he will be broke and carless by the end of summer.

Doctor Visit - The Orthopedic Version

I went back to the orthopedic specialist after spending over a month wearing an ankle brace.  Since this whole process started, I have purchased 3 pairs of shoes as well as a leg brace to sleep in.  This past week while at home, I noticed some type of bump on the back of my leg right behind the knee.  I mentioned it to the doctor because when I touched it, the pain ran down my leg to my foot.  He placed his hand on my leg to  determine what I was talking about.  As soon as he made contact, his reaction was that an MRI needs to be done.  So my next appointment is on Monday and it is for an MRI of my knee.  I really hope whatever is on my leg can be cured by medicine or physical therapy.  I am just not comfortable with the idea of any type of surgery that involves my knee.

Doctor Visit - The Diabetic Version

I went to see my diabetic specialist last week.  I actually had a good visit.  I had gained 2 pounds since my last trip.  My A1C level was 8.8.  Now for most diabetics that is still high but for someone who is historically in double digits, 8.8 is awesome.  Based on those numbers, we made no changes to my medications.  I got my usually lecture about being sure to test more to help keep things under control.  Next visit is in two months.

Causing Unnecessary Panic

I came home last night from work and pulled into the driveway.  Upon my arrival, I noticed the side door to my wife's van was opened.  My initial thought was that someone had broken into the van.  A closer look proved me wrong.  It looked as if everything was still in the vehicle.  I went inside the house to ask my wife if she had been to the van recently.  Her response was that she had not been outside for the past 6 hours.  I told her she want to check the can cause the side door was wide open.  She rolled over and went back to sleep.  I hate getting myself worked up over nothing.  I guess I need to take some advice from my wife and just not give a fuck about causing unnecessary panic.  

WTF Moment - And then there were 3

My nephew called me a little while ago.  I was not really in the mood to deal with any of his usual stupidity.  He did not fail to provide some anyway.  He decided to tell me that the girl he is currently dating found out she is pregnant.  WTF?  Really?  So you got another child on the way?  OMG!  You are 22 years old with a  high school education, a convicted felon and about to be a father of three?  What in the hell?  Now more than ever he has got to get his shit together and get out my house.  The last thing I plan on dealing with is him and his 3 baby mamas.

My Lack of Blogging

It's been a week and a half since my last entry.  Part of the reason is because of laziness - I just didn't have the desire to sit in front of my computer and pour my heart out to the couple of people who read this.  Part of it was fatigue - a couple of nights I planned to blog after checking email and ended up going straight to sleep.  Part of it is not knowing what to say - so much is going on with me right now, I don't know what should take priority.  I do know this.  Based on the last couple of days, I have to get some stuff off my chest.  Otherwise, things could get real ugly real quick.

Running on Fumes

Sunday night proved to me I am simply running on fumes these days and am in need of some serious rest.  I should have known something was wrong with my because I had to focus so much on driving home.  When I got to the house, I shut off my truck and sat there for a sec.  At least I thought it was a second.  I closed my eyes and when I opened them, it was hours later.  I had actually slept in my truck that night.  I was too tired mentally and physically when I got home to take the short journey from the driveway to my couch.  I am running on fumes.  And right now I don't know when I will have time to refuel.

The Dinner Party

One of my co-workers wanted to have a dinner party at her house.  I was all in for it.  Gameplan was to have it on a day most of us were off from work so we could eat, drink and be merry.  The dinner happened last night and it was awesome.  There was an awesome food spread.  Baked and fried fish, jumbalaya, potato salad, salad, peach cobbler and more.  There was also plenty to drink. I walked in the door and was welcomed with a mango smoothie.  I followed that with an amaretto sour.  I had a couple more concoctions we created on the fly while we were laughing and joking.  All in all it was a great time.  It was nice to be able to hang out with peers away from work and have fun.  I'm really looking forward to the next one.

Learning When to Give Up

I have never been the type of person who quits.  I keep trying and plugging away at something until I figure it out - if I really want to get it accomplished.  I think that may be my problem with getting my degree online.  I have failed the same class three times.  It's not like the class is hard, I could do coursework in my sleep without reading the book.  My problem in all three failed attempts is that I did not take the time to do the work.  I received failing grades because I did not turn in assignments.  I guess it really is time for me to give up trying to get that degree.  I am not at a point in life where I can dedicate the time and focus to the program required to be successful.  Guess I need to learn when to give up on a dream.

Failed Suicide / A Cry for Attention

This time last week I was sitting in an ER room waiting to find out my wife's condition.  Last Wednesday she decided to take all of her prescription medications in addition to some pills for our oldest daughter in an attempt to kill herself.  At least, that's what she says.  Speaking with family and friends, we've decided that she was simply wanting attention and trying to kill herself was the method she chose to get it.  Good news is that the medications she took were not enough to be toxic so she survived with no complications.  She ended up spending 2 nights in the psych ward at the hospital again and then came home.  This is going to sound cold to those who don't know me but this shit is getting old.  I am tired of having to deal with her desire to always be the center of attention and putting our daughters through this.  Funny thing is that only the youngest  girl cried; the older two took a "whatever" approach to her being back in the hospital.

We Don't Speak the Same Language

I got home from work tonight and decided to check my email before going to bed.  I had a message from my wife with the subject line "Your Love Language."  The body of the email was as follows:


Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

I have a problem with this.  I don't speak this language when it comes to her anymore. So now what do I do?