A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime

I felt the need to post this article.  I don't take credit for anything in it.

A Reason, A Season or a Lifetime.  People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled;  their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!  But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);  and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

What are you looking at?

Something odd occurred at work the other day and it has been on my mind ever since.  I am hoping that writing about it will give me the needed closure.  One of my female co-workers asked me to come by her desk and assist with a report she has having difficulty formatting.  I stopped by the snack machine to grab some chips and proceeded to her desk.  When I sat down, she turned and looked at me to acknowledge my presence.  She quickly turned her head away.  She looked back at me smiling and turned away again.  She then asked me to leave her desk for about 5 seconds and to return.  I gave her a "What the hell?" look and walked off.  At this point in time, I was trying to determine what happened to cause her reaction.  Did I have something in my teeth?  Was there something in my nose? Did she need to adjust her clothing?  Many more possibilities raced through my mind over the next few minutes.  I returned to her desk and asked if she was ready to look at the report.  She said yes.  I asked what caused her reaction.  She told me that for some reason when she turned and looked at me, she started thinking of me in an inappropriate manner.  Do what? We work together everyday.  What about that particular moment in time made that thought cross your mind?  She later explained it was just something that came over her - no rhyme or reason.

Christmas 2012

I guess that Christmas 2012 has passed by like any other day rather than being a holiday.  Well, I shouldn't say that because there have been a couple of good things that happened to me today.  First of all, I had to work.  Now I volunteered to work on this holiday so it's no big deal.  Just kinda sucks that the holiday fell on my usual day off so I work 6 days this week rather than 5.  My peers and I decided to collaborate on a meal for the managers because most eateries would be closed today.  The meal came out pretty well.  We had rotel, bbq smokies, cookies, cake, fruit and sandwiches.  Not a bad spread with only four people putting it together and feeding about a dozen.  When the evening shift came in, one of the supervisors told us we could leave since we had been there since the building opened.  I left and spent a little while chatting with a friend.  I currently sit at my house alone because my wife and kids are out of town.  I think I am going to do some cleaning up and then call Christmas 2012 a done deal.

True Beauty

I came home from work today with a lot on my mind.  As I walked to the front door, I glanced at the flower beds.  The cantalilies were simply green and brown stalks holding on for dear life preparing to succumb to winter's chill.  The rose bushes seemed to have lost the fight since most had little to no leaves.  One bush though, had not given up.  There, right next to my front door, was a white rose with pink highlights.  The only burst of life and color in the entire ten-foot long bed.  It was the perfect representation of true beauty.  It showed me that regardless of the surroundings, true beauty will always shine through.

Denied

My wife received her letter from the social security disability office yesterday.  She is out of town so I opened it to confirm what I already knew.  She was denied.  No disability check for her. I knew she would be denied.  The reason for the denial:  even though she suffers from depression, migraines and is bipolar the social security administration feels she is still able to work.  She may not be able to work the job she had previously but she can work.  Let's see what happens with her now. I've been telling her this all along.  She refused to believe me.  She wanted to go with what the doctor said.  Hope she realizes the denial decision was based on information from several sources including him.

So Much Drama in Da Dirty South

The nephew decided to text me yesterday to ask if I had a minute to talk.  I texted back ask what was the issue.  His vague response was "a lot of things."  I don't understand the youth of today.  I called him to see what the issue was this time with the mentality that I really don't give a fuck.  He decided to tell me that rather than give me the money he owes me, he gave it to one of his kids' mother since his little girl is about to start daycare.  This is where the story takes that fucked up turn.  He goes on to tell me there is a chance the baby may not be his and the chick admitted to this fact.  Do what?  Baby not his?  I told him I had no advice for him at this point and he may want to seek legal advice.  What in the hell?  Once again I need people to be careful who they lay up with.  I'm proof of that everyday now that I am dealing with my bipolar wife.  I have never seen so much unnecessary drama in my life.

Holiday Spirits

The last couple of days have succeeded in giving me reason to enjoy the spirits of the holiday season.  Yesterday, based on the great news I received about my readmission into school, I purchased a bottle of vodka as a congrats to myself.  Today, my manager gave me another bottle of flavored vodka for a Christmas gift.  Did I mention the wife and kids are out of town?  Things are really shaping up for me to be able to enjoy the spirits of the holiday.

Finally Some Good News

I have really gotten to the point I dislike having my cell phone.  Granted I work in a call center during the day and a pizza chain at night, I don't mind talking on the phone.  My problem comes with WHO is calling all the time.  I realize these people are only doing their job but I am at the point I have the script for my mortgage company memorized.  I even went thru the whole thing one day with no prompting from the agent because she caught me at a bad time.  Today, however, I received some welcome news.  My appeal for readmission into online classes was approved.  I've got another chance to achieve my goal.  When my advisor called me today with the news I was elated.  I told her the phone call was the best Christmas gift I could have received this year.  Now I just have to make the most of this opportunity.  

Friends

I’ve talked many times about the relationship I have with my real friends.  My ride or die compadres.  One of my friends texted me on Monday night saying she may need a ride to the doctor on Tuesday because she was ill.  I had an eye appointment Tuesday morning so I asked what time she needed to go.  Tuesday morning I went by her house to check on her.  She looked and sounded terrible.  She called her physician and was told to come in immediately.  I took her to the doctor and spent the next two hours of my off day in the office with her.  After getting her diagnosis, we went to the pharmacy to drop off the prescriptions.  I took her home and returned to the pharmacy to get her medicine.  I dropped the medicine off on my way to work.  That’s the advantage of having real friends.  They will be there for you through thick and thin, sickness and in health.  

Working for Nothing

The nephew’s bank statement showed up the other day.  I was unaware it was here because I seldom check the mail.  While speaking with my wife about him and his current financial status, she mentioned the statement.  We looked at it to see if we could figure out where he was spending his money cause it obviously was not being spent on my household.  I was dumbfounded by what I saw.  The statement detailed the fact his account was $200 overdrawn at the beginning of the month.  He got paid which erased the overdraft and then proceeded to spend more money.  He again caused his account to be overdrawn by about $200.  The statement actually had a line stating the total overdraft fees for the year which exceeded $1400.  That’s enough to pay truck note and mortgage for one month.  Now I see why he has no money.  He is basically working to pay the bank.  He is working for nothing.  

Wile E Coyote

Have you ever watched the old Wile E. Coyote/Road Runner cartoons?  To this day it amazes me that Wile E.  spent years of his life plotting and planning to catch this elusive bird and always failed.  No matter what scheme he hatched or how much he charged on his Acme card, he could never succeed.  I always wonder what would have happened if he actually caught the Road Runner.  I am starting to feel that way in my life.  I have tried and tried yet some things just won’t work out the way I want them to.  I’m starting to think I’m a modern day Wile E Coyote.  With that being said, I think this modern day coyote is going to do the smart thing and give up the chase.  No use wasting time on what will not be.

Inside That I Cried

Inside that I cried.  That's how I used to be.  I used to have this awesome poker face.  I could look like nothing was bothering me when my world was in fact, in total chaos.  I used to keep everything to myself.  I used to keep my problems inside so as to not bother others.  The problem with keeping everything inside is that eventually there has to be a release.  I have started to release more and more as my life continues its downward spiral.  In the past, no one knew anything about me.  Today, I am willing to tell every intricate detail of my existence to anyone willing to listen.  I have to get back to how I used to be.  Gotta get back to crying only on the inside.

Crime and Punishment

There's a saying that goes "don't do the crime if you can't do the time."  My two oldest children decided to do something they were not supposed to do today and are having to learn a harsh lesson.  My wife called me  around 2pm today to inform me that our two oldest children decided to skip school today.  Apparently rather than get on the bus this morning they decided to go into the attic and hide out all day.  Good news is that neither of them were hurt.  The punishment for skipping school had to be severe.  I decided the punishment would be no Christmas gifts for either of them.  The middle child ran down the hall crying.  The eldest, in true defiance, was nonchalant.  She muttered under her breath that she had money and could get her own gift.  I guess she has forgotten that she can't drive to go anywhere to purchase said gift.  Let's wait and see how my girls deal with crime and punishment.

Times Have Changed

My eldest daughter had her choir concert tonight.  This was a shining example of how things have changed over the years.  First of all, for it to be an event at night at the school, I expected some type of security.  Nope.  When we walked into the building there was a group of kids handing out programs.  They were dressed in jeans, tennis shoes and one girl was even wearing a cap.  Not exactly what you expect walking into a choir program.  As we approached the auditorium there was a young man sitting on the floor talking on his cell phone while it was plugged into the wall charging.  During the program I noticed a woman recording the show with her tablet PC.  Many others were taking pics and recording the show with their smartphones.  Long gone are the days of big bulky camcorders.  Times have surely changed.  

Unfit to Work

Based on the conversation with the doctor yesterday, it has been determined my wife is unfit to work a strenuous full time job.  The doctor said she should be able to handle light duty.  What the hell is light duty?  Basically this son of a bitch told me that my wife needs to be a housewife.  Great.  She’s been out of work 6.5 months and is no better at keeping the house up than she was when she was working full time.  Maybe he should have said she is unfit to do any type of work. 

These are Her Confessions – Thoughts of Suicide

While at the doctor yesterday my wife made a confession.  She always seems to want to reveal these dark truths when we are at one of her doctors.  She told the doctor and myself that she hadn’t been sleeping at night.  She told us that she sits up at night thinking of ways to kill herself and she does not know why.  She told us she took 11 sleeping pills one night recently.  Guess what?  They didn’t work.  She woke up the next morning.  I’m not too sure if it was a miracle or luck.  What I do know is that her doctor is a motherfucking fool for prescribing more of the same pill after that confession. 

WTF – Not Pregnant

My youngest daughter is 3yrs old.  I’m starting this entry off with that information because it plays a vital part in understanding what I am about to say.  I went to my wife’s appointment with her yesterday.  As we were leaving the office, we stopped at the payment window and were greeted by the new secretary.  She looked at my wife and asked “how far along are you?”  My wife looked and said “I’m not pregnant.”  WTF?!  As a female, if your stomach is big to the point people think you are pregnant when you aren’t and you did not recently give birth, you’ve got a problem.  It’s time to get off the couch, out the bed and in somebody gym or on the floor doing some crunches.  It’s funny how she wants to be someone I am proud to have on my arm.  She used to be that.  Nowadays – not so much.  

The Hand I was Dealt - Countdown to Losing Everything

Until recently I think I did a pretty good job of handling the hand life dealt me.  I kept a few aces up my sleeve just in case things didn’t go my way.  I guess life decided to switch things up and change dealers.  And this new motherfucker is ruthless.  Every time I think I have the upper hand, he pulls a Joker.  I can’t compete with that no matter how hard I try.  I think it is time to begin my countdown to losing everything.  I never thought I would reach this point in my life.  Working hard and always hustling has gotten me through some tough times.  This time however, there isn’t a hustle in the world that can turn things around.  I’m going to do what I can to survive as long as I can but eventually everything I have worked so hard to get will be gone. 

Don’t Hate the Personality

My wife decided to accompany me to my appointment yesterday.  Needless to say, that did not go well for her.  When I walked into the office the administrative assistant instantly greeted me by saying my name.  The nurse called me back to check my vitals. As usual I was cracking jokes about what the test results would say.  I saw the doctor (who happened to be female) and it was pretty much the same routine.  I just have one of those personalities where people like me.  When we left the office and got in the car, the first thing out of my wife’s mouth was “do you flirt everywhere you go?”  I just looked at her.  Call it what you want.  I know who I am and what I do.  And I bring smiles to people everywhere I go.

WTF – Fashion No-No

We have been having some weird weather lately.  Well I shouldn’t say weird because it is typical of this time of year.  Freezing temps over night and mid 60s by noon.  With that in mind, I saw what I consider a fashion no-no today.  I was driving past a park with a walking trail.  I saw a young lady walking the path.  She was wearing a sweatshirt, some tights and snow boots.  WTF?  First of all, it rarely snows here.  I mean like rarely to the point that an inch of snow would shut shit down.  Secondly, who the hell goes walking for exercise in snow boots?