I Hate Being an Asshole

I hate being an asshole.  I really do.  Being an asshole takes some of my best traits and uses them for all the wrong reasons.  Being an asshole takes the love and caring I would have for a person and turns it into pure hatred.  Being an asshole means all of my normally funny and witty ancedotes turn into painful verbal attacks with no remorse.  The sole intention of my words when in asshole mode is to be hurtful.  Being an asshole means rather than being willing to give my last of anything and everything so that you can make it, I won't give you shit or give a fuck about your well-being.  I hate being an asshole but when killing them with kindness doesn't work, it's time to flip the script and try a different approach to get the desired results.