Dope Money

Working in the area where I am employed makes for some awesome stories to share with friends and family in regards to complete obscurity.  Yesterday I was at work and a young man came in to make a purchase.  He was visibly high on something.  (Bloodshot eyes, smoked out lips) He was so bad that I could actually smell weed on him.  He paid for his items and left.  Later I went to cash another customer out and this strange scent caught my nose.  I couldn't quite figure out what it was.  This continued every time I went to the register.  I did a quick self check to make sure my deodorant was working.  I checked the return basket to see if any perishable food was in it.  Still nothing.  And then, the light bulb went off inside my head.  The scent was coming from the cash in the register.  Apparently the high young man had been around so much weed that his money smelled like weed and every time I opened the cash drawer, the scent was coming out.  Talk about dope money! 

Blame it on the Zodiac

I often blame my actions on my zodiac sign.  Born an Aries, I am very unique.  I think I brought this up once before in my blog that the best description I have ever seen for an Aries is a Garfield bookmark that said: "Aries are blunt, direct and have the compassion of a rock."  That bluntness and direct approach attracts people but it can also get me in trouble because I sometimes forget to filter myself.   I was chatting with one of my co-workers a few nights ago and I have to say she is an attractive young lady.  She joked with me about how she does not mess with married men.  The conversation was mostly about me and things I have been through.  She was quite intrigued and kept saying "I knew it" when I would tell her about some of my exploits.  With that in mind and alcohol in my system (so much for that damn filter), I told her about a proposition I made to another female a while back.  I told my co-worker that I offered the female dinner, transportation and a nice hotel room on the day of her choice for an opportunity to taste her.  Not have sex mind you, I just wanted a taste.  My co-worker said "you just tell me when and where.  I don't have to pick anything."  I laughed and told her I wasn't propositioning her but I would keep that in mind.  So as we were about to part ways, I asked my co-worker where was her phone.  I told her to put my number in it.  Her response was "Oh. So you just gonna make me put your number in my phone?"  I looked at her and said "I see you pulled it out and are adding my name so I guess that means yes."  Blame it on the Zodiac.  Aries are used to getting what they want in life.     

He Wanna Be My First

The young man I blogged about a couple of weeks ago reached out to me again this week.  During our conversation I asked why choose me knowing that I had never been with a guy.  He said it was just something about me and that he would love to be my first.  I have experienced many firsts in my life but I am not sure what to do about this situation.  What is really throwing me off is that I am not completely against the idea.  Maybe because I am not homophobic.  Maybe because my wife does not do it for me anymore.  Maybe because I hate telling people know when they ask me for things.  I don't know what the case is but I need to determine what I am going to do. 

Moving, Moving, Moving

Karma has a funny way of biting you in the ass when you least expect it.  Case in point is the nephew.  He was staying in a house with his latest baby mama and some other people.  Apparently the person they were renting from was unaware of his status as a registered sex offender until last month.  When the homeowner found out, he gave them 2 weeks to move out.  Well, the nephew knew he couldn't come back here, especially with a baby.  His choice?  He went back to his hometown.  He will be renting a house from a friend of his family up there.  I hope this move is a good one for him cause that boy is always moving, moving, moving and going no where fast. 

Texting the Wrong Person

A couple of weeks ago I was in a texting frenzy.  I had 3 different conversations going at the same time between my wife and 2 friends.  One of the friends was the young lady who moved away over a year ago.  I was telling her we should Skype so I can get a chance to see her.  I also stated we can't let 2 years go by without actually physically laying eyes on each other. That's where the problem came in.  The text that said we need to see each other went to the wife rather than the friend.  Drama followed.  The wife played it cool for a couple of days and then confronted me about the text.  I told her exactly who the text was intended for.  She then asked if she could see my text messages.  She was met with a stern "no."  She then asked why she could not see them.  I politely told her that the messages were not meant for her so they were none of her business.  Not too sure what she was expecting me to say but I damn sure wasn't worried that I texted the wrong person. 

My Crazy Life

I can't believe that I have let over 2 weeks go by without posting to my blog.  It's not like I don't have time to post.  I guess it is more laziness than anything.  I am really going to have to get back to posting on a more regular basis.  With my two closest friends both moving away, this is going to start being my outlet - my release therapy if you will.  I've got a lot to talk about that has happened in the last couple of weeks. I guess I should get started. 

The Art of Attraction

I've been thinking about the art of attraction a lot these past few days.  Several things have happened to make me question what attracts me to people and vice versa.  The first situation that comes to mind was when I was contacted by one of my formers subordinates.  The conversation started off with the typical "hey what you been up to?"  Then things took a turn.  He (yes you read that right) decided to tell me that he thought I was cute.  Now, don't get me wrong, I know that I am cute.  But to hear it from a guy caught me off guard.  We're not talking "that's a nice outfit you have on cute."  This was "I think you are sexy and want to sleep with you cute."  I didn't make things any better because I continued the conversation to see how serious he was.  He knows that I am married with kids.  I also was sure to tell him that I had never been with a guy.  He still continued to try and see if anything could possibly happen.  The whole situation caught me off guard.  I'm not too sure what to think or do at this point.  The other situation about attraction that got to me this week was with my wife.  Same story, different day.  I was home one night this week and she came walking through the house naked.  Now most husbands would give their soul to the devil for an opportunity like that.  Me on the other hand, I had to bite my tongue.  I realized I continue to not be physically attracted to my wife.  I really wanted her to put some clothes on.  There is an art to being attractive.  Some people are Picasso and others can't paint by numbers.  

WTF Moment - I'm Older Than I Look

For some reason, I have been given the gift of a youthful appearance.  Even though I celebrated my 37th birthday a couple of weeks ago, I could still pass for a teenager in the right clothes.  With that in mind, below is an exchange I had with a customer at my store last week.  An older lady approached me while I was stocking shelves and this is what she said:

Her:  How your little young self get to be a manager?
Me:  How old do you think I am?
Her:  You can't be no more than 19
Me:  Mam, I have a teenager at home myself
Her:  (Puzzled look on face) How old are you?
Me:  I turned 37 last week. 
Her:  37? You don't look like you past 19!
Me:  Thanks.  It's a gift and a curse.

She is not the first person to question my age and I am sure she won't be the last. 

Seeing is Believing

My wife decided to go to her hometown this past weekend to visit her grandmother in the hospital.  While she was there, someone took a picture of my wife standing next to the hospital bed.  My wife showed me the picture and asked, "is that how you see me?"  I looked at her and responded "Is that what you see when you look in the mirror?"  I guess seeing the picture of herself next to her tiny, frail grandmother struck a nerve.  Maybe now she sees what everyone else has been viewing for so long. 

Play Your Position

In every successful organization, each member knows how to play their assigned position.  Whether you are talking sports, a Fortune 500 company or your local grocer, people are most successful when individuals have clearly defined roles and goals.  But what happens when a role is not clearly defined?  What happens when someone is not happy playing their position and tries to do someone else's job?  You start having problems which can ultimately lead to failure.  I think I have finally hit that failure point with one of my friends.  I thought I had a clear understanding of my role in her life.  Tonight showed me that I was completely wrong about what she expects out of me.  Oh well.  Back to the bench I go until I learn to play my position.

Late Bday Gift(s) from Mom

So my birthday passed this past Wednesday and as I stated in my previous post, it was lack luster at best.  Well, today made up for it.  I got up this morning and traveled to my home town to get my mother.  We were supposed to go shopping for a prom dress for my oldest daughter.  We hit the mall and were able to find a dress she liked as well as some shoes.  Then it was time to splurge on me.  My mother took me to the local home depot and told me to pick out a new mower to replace the one that was stolen last summer.  How's that for a gift?  I was complaining about getting lawn equipment for my birthday previously and now I am thrilled as hell to receive it.  Isn't life funny?  One thing about mom, she always knows how to put a smile on my face. 

Birthday 2014 - A Day of Blahs

I don't make a big deal out of my birthday most of the time.  I think I was hoping for a little more this year because of what I have been dealing with for the past couple of months.  Today actually played out like any other day of year.  I woke up to discover that my middle child had missed the bus.  After dropping her at school, I came home and waited until it was time to take my youngest to school to register for kindergarten.  After registration, I dropped her at daycare and returned home.  I received a call from my mortgage company wanting an update on when they would receive a payment.  I picked my daughter up from daycare, ate lunch and went to work.  That's it.  I received Happy Bday wishes from my in-laws and 3 friends via text.  Once again, people I thought would call or text me didn't.  I guess I should realize I am not as important as I think I am.  Oh well. 

May Be Time to Search for Another Job

Anybody that truly knows me will tell you that I am not a quitter.  I'm the type of person who sees things through to the bitter end.  I'm the captain who goes down with the ship.  At least, that's how I used to be.  I just can't seem to wrap my abilities around this new job.  Every time I think I am making progress something else screwy happens.  And the truly sad part is, it's hard to find help.  I hate being in situations where my role is that of a leader but I am actually skilled like a subordinate.  After the disastrous day I had today, I am truly thinking about jumping back on the job hunt to see what else is out there.  This shit just ain't for me.

Have to eat my own words

I've been going back and forth for the last couple of days about actually doing this post.  Maybe it's the fact that one of my best friends just moved away.  Maybe it's the fact that my birthday is just over 24 hours away and I am not looking forward to it.  Maybe it's everything.  Maybe it's nothing.  Maybe it's a combination of things.  Who knows?  Let's just get on with this. 

A couple of years ago I fell in love with a woman other than my wife.  For those of you reading and thinking "that's terrible. he should be ashamed of himself," let me take a moment to say "feel free to stop reading at any time."  I truly enjoyed being around this young lady.  There was something about her that drew me in like a moth to a flame.  I wanted to know everything about her - the good, the bad and everything in between.  When we first met, she had lots of walls up due to trust issues.  I was able to break those walls down and so her what it was like to be in love.  It wasn't planned.  It just happened.  Unfortunately, we couldn't be together based on my situation.  Even with that in mind, I told her that I would always be there for her and love her until she met someone else that treated her as well as I did and made her feel safe no matter what.  Fast forward to the present.  She has moved away and met someone.  She told me he is able to provide her with all the things she needs to be happy.  I am happy for her but at the same time I'm feeling some kind of way.  I guess it's because we spent so much time together when she was here.  I can't listen to the radio, drive down the road, smell a sweet perfume, look at flowers, or even sit in my room at home without something reminding me of her.  I haven't talked to her in over a month.  I guess I was hoping that "out of sight, out of mind" would take affect but such is not the case.  I was listening to the radio today and "Let Her Go" by Passenger came on.  I never really paid attention to the lyrics until today.  The song really touched me.  I let her go like I promised I would.  So I have to such this shit up, eat my own words and let her love someone else. 

WTF Moment - Dentist Needed

Working in a drug store gives the opportunity to see all types of people.  This past Friday a young lady walked into the store.  She was wearing some pink shorts, pink Nike's and a tank top.  She asked where she could find KY jelly.  My cashier informed her it was located in the back by the pharmacy.  The young lady looked a little confused.  I told her that I had to walk back there anyway so I would further assist.  We got to the back of the store.  She wanted a small bottle of KY.  Unfortunately, we were sold out (apparently a lot of people in that part of time need lubrication.)  I suggested she get the store brand because it was the same thing just a different name.  She asked "is it a gel?"  I turned to look at her to respond and was completely caught off guard.  All of her front teeth were black and damaged.  She was obviously a drug addict.  Her teeth looked like she had been trying to chew concrete.  I quickly composed myself and told her the store brand was a gel also.  That young lady was in serious need of a dentist.  Actually, she probably needed to see a cosmetic surgery specialist. 

Money Management

My wife received a letter in the mail last week stating she needed a representative payee before she could receive her past due benefits.  We went to the local social security office to get more information.  After waiting for an hour, we finally got a chance to talk to someone.  Basically it looks like I will have to manage her money since she has a history of overspending.  The office worker asked for my bank routing and checking number so I presume the money will be direct deposited into my account.  Hopefully we are one step closer to her receiving some type of income so our house can get back to being stable.  If she thinks I am going to give her any access to my account, she should think again.  In order for us to survive, her money has to be put to the proper use.  I can't take a chance on her mismanaging money again. 

WTF Moment - Hoodtastic

Friday I was at work at my new job.  I had to take the daily deposit to the bank and get some change for the weekend.  I'm not too sure if I have mentioned this in previous posts but the store I work in is located in a not so safe part of town.  Anyway, as I was returning from the bank I saw something that made me do a double take.  There was a guy pedaling a bike while carrying a car battery.  WTF?  Where the hell was the car that the battery came out of?  All I could do was shake my head and return to work.

Breaking Up the Band

I've been going back and forth about this post for the last couple of days.  I think I was hesitant to post it because I don't want to deal with an upcoming reality.  But whether I post it or not, I can't change what it going to happen.  One of my best friends received a job offer and will be moving out of state by next month.  I am truly happy for her because the job is something she wants to do and will allow her to be closer to her family.  It just saddens me a little that I will not be able to see her as much anymore.  I'm sure we will keep in touch via phone calls, text messages and email but there is truly nothing like face to face communication.  My other concern is that once she has moved, the communication will become less and less to the point of almost non-existent.  That's what happened with my other close friend.  We went from communicating daily to me not hearing from her in over a month.  (Partially my fault.  She told me she found someone so I opted to let her dedicate time to being with that person rather that bother her daily.)  I guess the band has finally broken up and it is time for us to go our separate ways. 

When Art Imitates Life

Most professional artists (musicians and comedians in particular) will tell you that the best material they produce is based on some aspect of their real life.  They may/may not change names but the events did happen.  With that in mind, it brings me back to my love of music. I was driving to work the other day and "Can't Raise a Man" started to play.  I thought about a close friend who is going through a situation with her husband and the lyrics really hit home.  Then I started thinking about how many songs have impacted me.  There are certain songs that as soon as the beat starts, I drift into thoughts of certain people and events.  It's true that art imitates life.  It's just up to us to recognize when it happens and to paint a perfect picture. 

Why Did I Get Married?

Earlier today I was on youtube and ran across various wedding dance videos.  Some were father/daughter dances and others were bridesmaids vs groomsmen.  All of them were funny.  While I was watching the videos, a thought entered my mind.  Why did I get married in the first place?  As I sit home alone, the question really strikes a nerve.  My daughters are on spring break this week.  Last weekend they went on a camping trip with their church.  (I had to invest $140 in flashlights, sleeping bags, gloves and gas for the van but it was worth the chance for my girls to have fun.)  Now they are at my mother-in-law's.  Granted I don't get to see them and spend time with them due to trying to work 2 jobs and provide the bare essentials.  It would have at least been nice to see them play in the yard or run around the house.  Oh well.  I guess this is that part of being married that falls under "for better or for worse."  It's better for them to spend time with the in-laws so my wife can enjoy herself.  Worse case scenario they spend the entire spring break here and my house look like the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. 

Time to Take My Own Advice - Definition of Insanity

I'm not too sure where or when I heard my favorite explanation for the definition of insanity.  I do know that it has stuck with me for some time now.  With that in mind, I think it is time that I do one thing most people have the hardest time doing.  I need to take my own advice.  Based on the definition of insanity that I love, doing the same thing over and over will ultimately lead to the same results.  Therefore, I must do things differently.  I'm going to stop trying to help those who refuse to help themselves.  And I am going to try my best to let go of some things that I desperately want to hold on to. 

Yearly Tradition

My birthday is just under a month away so I guess it is time for my yearly workout tradition even though there is truly no need.  In years past I would be sure to exercise in the weeks leading up to my birthday.  I was not exercising to make room for all the cake and ice cream that I would possibly consume.  I was getting in shape due to the "adult activities" which usually took place at my birthday parties with friends.  Our parties used to be for the grown and sexy.  Grown words were used and clothes came off.   Sometime during the course of the night (either by my own accord or after losing a bet) I would end up out of my shirt.  I'm a small framed guy with a fairly toned body.  Nothing like a bunch of females admiring the body you have to keep covered at work to stroke an ego.  Ah the good old days.  Anyway, there will obviously be no party this year but I still plan to be in shape for my birthday.

Do You Really Want Me?

Typical situation happened today with the wife.  Guess I'm just being extremely observant because this is not the first or last time.  This morning after the kids were gone to school and daycare, she stated she wanted to have sex.  I did my usual and said no.  I walked off.  I went back to the bedroom a few minutes to ask a question and she was back asleep.  Are you serious?  Why even ask for sex if you are sleepy?  I guess she was planning on sleeping after sex anyway like she usually does so not getting any just shortened the wait time for dream land.  My main point is this - do you really want me or am I just a convenience for you? 

I Will Always Be Me

Last week a former co-worker reached out to me because she was having problems with her laptop.  Now keep in mind I had not spoken to her since I was fired back in October 2013.  She brought the laptop to my new job because it is close to where she lives.  We talked for a few minutes and she said, "you haven't changed one bit.  you are still silly as ever."  She was absolutely correct.  I have not changed nor am I going to change.  I may adapt my behavior slightly depending on the surroundings but I will always remain true to who I am.  I don't turn off my sarcasm - I just tone it down when necessary.  I will always be me no matter what. 

Upcoming Birthday

I was just thinking about my upcoming birthday.  Based on my current work situation as well as my current stable of "friends," I'm not expecting very much.  I have joked during a few recent conversations about finally opening a bottle of Hornitas Tequila that was purchased for my birthday by some dear friends 2 years ago.  Then again, I will probably be so consumed with work that I will not be able to enjoy it.  I looked at my post from last year and realized my birthday was blah at best.  I guess I have reached a point in life where I don't care about my birthday and neither does anyone else. 

WTF Moment - So Not Sexy

Working in the drug store allows me the opportunity to see all types of people.  Young, old, small and large.  With that being said, a lady came in the other day and I had to try my hardest not to let my face show my disgust with what she was wearing.  She looked to be about 40-something.  She was wearing one of those velour jogging suits.  Problem one was that she had the jacket unzipped about 3/4ths of the way with a tshirt under it with no bra.  Ladies, if your nipples are touching your navel, a bra is a must have in your wardrobe.  Problem two - she turned to walk away and all I saw was ass crack.  So not sexy.  Not even in the least.

I Can't Want It More Than You

I want a lot of things for people in my life.  However, I am constantly being reminded that I can't want it more than the actual person.  Example.  I have a female friend who is not happy in her marriage and has not been for a long time.  I have offered advice and told her what I would do.
I suggested she at least separate from her husband for a little while because being in the same house is not productive for either of them.  I even helped her start searching for somewhere else to live.  She even got an offer from her parents to move in with them until she can re-establish herself.  But guess what?  She is still in the same situation.  I can't want it more than she wants it herself.  Another example.  My wife's weight.  We had talked about this many times and nothing has changed.  She still looks like she is pregnant.  If her medication is the problem, then she should investigate/discuss alternatives.  I refuse to believe her weight gain is solely due to medicine.  If so, the FDA would outlaw the drug.  Laziness is just as big a factor as medication.  But I can't exercise for her.  I purchased yet another Nintendo Wii in hopes of her working out.  No go.  It is collecting dust in a corner.  Oh well.  I tried.

WTF Moment - What is that smell?

I was at work at my pizza delivery job the other night and a strange scent hit my nose.  It was slightly sweet and slightly smoky. It put me in the mind of some type of incense being burned.  After a few moments of racking my brain, I figured out what the odor was.  One of my female drivers was wearing some type of light perfume which had a flower-like fragrance.  This same female driver is a smoker and had apparently been puffing while she was out of the store.  Mystery solved.  Perfume plus cigarette smoke equal a hot mess.

Am I Becoming Shallow?

I have often joked with my friends about the fact that I can "manufacture a pretty bitch."  I don't say that meaning disrespect towards females.  If you are a female reading this and feel offended... tough shit.  This is my blog and I will say what I want.  I talk about manufacturing a pretty girl because with all the garments you can purchase (push bras, spanx, etc), makeup/fake hair and surgery, I could easily take a not so attractive girl and turn her into a beauty queen.   But all that physical change won't change her personality.  She will still be the same person just with a different look.  I said all that because I have once again started to wonder about my wife's physical appearance.  I truly have a hard time looking at her and being attracted.  She claims some of her medication is to blame for the weight gain.  I feel it is a combination of eating and not exercising.  She looks like she is about 8 months pregnant.  You always hear people joke about fantasizing about someone else during sex.  I'm here to tell you, that's no joke.  I just wonder am I being shallow by not being attracted to her after all these years.  Naw.  I'm just being real and being myself.  

Workaholic

Since taking my new job a couple of weeks ago, I have been reminded of what it means to be a workaholic.  I have not had an entire day off since 2/10/2014.  I have been at one or both jobs every day.  The way I see it, I will have to request time off from both jobs to have an entire day off.  Oh well.  I'm used to having to work hard to get what I want.  I just hope that all this hard work pays off. 

Why I Hate Asking for Help from public assistance agencies

Considering the fact that I lost my job last October, I feel fortunate to be in the shape I am in.  With that said, I hate trying to ask for help from agencies who seem to give needy people the runaround and reward those who don't need it.  Example.  I reached out to an organization within my state for assistance with my mortgage payments.  Part of the paperwork requested a paycheck stub.  My mortgage is $770 per month.  My paychecks for last month totaled $900.  So let's do the math.  $900 minus $770 is $130.  How in the world can I pay all my utilities with $130?  So obviously I need help.  After submitting all the required paperwork, I was told the agency is behind and it would be 6-8 weeks before I heard anything.  In 6-8 weeks I could be on the streets.  I'm working and trying to provide for my family but can't get help.  Now let some deadbeat who isn't working and is not looking for a job apply and they get all the help they need.  Sometimes I hate asking for help. 

Still Can't Get Ahead

I thought that after cashing out my 401K and getting my tax refund, I would finally be ahead of the game.  Such is not the case.  I'm still in the game but we are tied.  I am current on most of my important bills.  I still have a ton of medical expenses to deal with based on the surgeries my wife and I had last year.  Additionally, I had to cough up $700 last week for repairs to my wife's vehicle.  I had planned on using that money to pay off my little store charge card and one of the medical bills.  I'm hoping this new job will provide the boost I need to get ahead or remain even.  With that being said, it goes back to my previous post.  I hope I can hold on to this job.  Otherwise, I will be back in the same financial hell I have been dealing with for months. 

Looking out for Others

While I was at my new job on Friday, I received a phone call from a company I applied for in January.  The lady asked if I was still interested in working for them in the business office.  I explained to her that I had already taken another job.  I then told her about a former co-worker who was looking for a job.  I said the person had the same qualifications as me and would be a great fit.  I asked if I could have my co-worker call about the position or if she was willing to reach out to my co-worker.  The representative asked for my co-worker's name and number.  She immediately called and told her to apply online so her application could be pulled. I spoke to my co-worker a few minutes later and let her know what was going on.  Needless to say, my co-worker was thrilled at the potential position.  Hopefully I made the right decision trying to look out for others rather than looking into the position myself. 

New Job May not be the Right Fit

I've been at my new job for 2 weeks and I am unsure if it is the right fit for me.  During my interviews, I thought I made it clear to the management staff that I was employed elsewhere.  I did tell them I would make the new job my primary job but I thought it was understood I would still be working my other job.  Last Monday I posted the schedule for my old job on the board to let my new manager know the days I would be unavailable.  When I returned on Wednesday, he had responded to the schedule by writing "This will not work.  This is not what we agreed to."  First of all, I would have preferred a phone call rather than a written response that I would see days later.  (I replied back on the paper saying call me asap to discuss.)  Secondly, I have not head from him since that time.  If fact, I have tried to contact him several times over the last 2 days but been unsuccessful. (I have actually only seen him once since I started 2 weeks ago.) I am trying my best to like this new job but I refuse to choose the new job over a company I have been with over 14 years.  Hopefully, I will be able to speak to my new manager and reach a sensible resolution.  If not, it's back to searching for a second job. 

Spending Time with Friends

I have not been able to spend time hanging out with friends like in the past due to schedule conflicts and lack of funds.  Luckily, fate smiled on me for a brief second and I was able to just chill this past Wednesday.  I met up with 2 of my former co-workers on Wednesday evening after work.  We went to Mexican restaurant and had a ball.  My only complaint about the time we spent together was that the conversation mostly revolved around my old employer.  I personally do not care what goes on there currently.  Friends that work there know how to get in touch with me but as far as the day to day operations (hiring/firing) I could care less.   After dinner I dropped one friend off and continued to hang out with the other.  Around midnight, she decided she wanted to travel to a adult novelty store about an hour away.  I didn't have to be at work in the morning so I decided to ride with her.  We got there a little after 1am.  We didn't leave until 430am.  The sales person was very knowledgeable and hilarious with all the stories about crazy customers.  All in all it was a good night.  I wish I could do that more often.  I really miss spending time with my true friends. 

New Job, Old Health Problems

I was really excited about starting my new job.  This was a chance to make some more money and start getting things back to how they used to be.  Problem with the new job is that I am falling back into some of my old habits which cause problems with my health.  The first thing I noticed is that based on staffing, I have not taken a lunch in 2 weeks.  Things have not been too bad in that aspect due me working in a drug store so I have access to snack food.  Problem is that if I go too long without eating anything, I run the risk of having a low sugar episode.  Nobody wants to see that.  The second concern is my eating.  I have eaten more fast food in the last 2 weeks than I consumed in a month prior to landing this job.  It's all about convenience and timing.  I don't have the luxury of going home in between jobs any more so it seems easier to grab a burger.  But man cannot live off fast food alone.  I need something with vitamins and nutrients.  I am really going to have to look at what I can do to take care of my health before it becomes a major issue. 

Sink or Swim Time

I wasn't expecting to be given so much responsibility so quickly at my new job.  I have only been there 4 days and I am tasked with opening the store by myself on Valentine's Day.  Granted it is a drug store and I have not witnessed a lot of traffic this week, I am still a little nervous about opening the store when I have not completed all of my training.  I'm not too sure this is being done because the manager wants to test me or if he really has no choice due to limited staff.  What I do know is that it's sink or swim time and I don't have a life jacket.

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

I try my best to make my own impressions of people.  I hear what others say about someone but I don't really listen.  I let a person's action or lack thereof show me their character.  With that in mind, I am wondering what the hell I have gotten myself into with this new job.  I started working on Monday and the manager expects me to open the store by myself on Friday.  What the hell?  I haven't been there an entire week yet.  I don't know all the procedures.  Tomorrow is day four and no one has taken the time to show me how to open either one of the safes.  It will be impossible to open a store if I don't have access to the money.  I don't know where the bank is located.  I don't have keys to open the store nor do I know the alarm code.  Hopefully I can get all this information tomorrow.  Otherwise Friday is going to be a complete clusterfuck. 

Getting Back on my Grind

I finally was able to secure a second job.  Today was my first day.  I learned a lot but I am still far from being able to handle all the responsibility of the position.  I was a little concerned about having to work both jobs back to back today because I have not done so since October.  Thank goodness my fast food job was slow tonight.  It gave me a chance to relax and plan how I should handle working two jobs.  The good news now is that I have 2 jobs.  Problem is that with me being in a leadership role in both places, my hours will have to be cut at the fast food place until I get established at the new job.  Hopefully everything will work out. 

How Losing My Job has Changed Me

Let me start this post off by saying, I do still have "A" job.  But, it is important to know that prior to my release in October 2013, I had worked 2 jobs since December 2007.  Now on with the post.  Today was one of those days when I really looked at myself and noticed how much I have changed and fallen off (as the expression goes) since my release.  First of all, when I was working 2 jobs, I used to get up every morning at 4:30am (that is if I got any sleep the night before).  I would dress for work with a button down, tie and slacks.  Brush my teeth, wash up and put on some type of body spray or cologne.  I used to get complimented on how nice I smelled often.  Nowadays, if I don't have to take my child to daycare or school, I usually start get functioning until 8am or later.  My wardrobe?  Windpants and a tshirt.  I couldn't tell you the last time I used body spray or cologne.  I've walked around the house all day snacking.  My old job was on the third floor of the building.  I took the stairs to help keep in shape.  These days?  Exercise does not happen.  I tried to start exercising daily a couple of times but just didn't continue.  Losing my job has impacted me in a couple of negative ways but it has not broken me.

Never Thought It Would Be Like This

Never in my worst nightmares did I think I would be where I am in life right now.  I thought I had a good grasp on life and had taken the proper measures to keep me out of trouble.  Guess I was very wrong.  I never thought I would receive a call from my 8yr old's teacher requesting that we remove her from the gifted program because her regular grades were poor.  I never thought I would have to consider bouncing a check to try and pay for a doctor visit for my youngest daughter.  I never thought I would have to not get my prescription filled because I can't afford the medicine.  I never thought that I would have body damage on my car 4 months later with no idea of when it may be repaired.  I never thought I would have to walk around my house all day in a coat because the central heat unit was out and I could not afford to get it repaired.  I never thought it would be like this but I guess those thoughts are now a harsh reality. 

Everything Happens for a Reason

Everything in life happens for a reason.  The reason may not be immediately apparent.  It may be days, weeks, months or years later.  In some cases, the reason may never be revealed to a person during his/her lifetime.  But everything happens for a reason.  

WTF - Do I look Like I am Gaining Weight?

One of the perks of working at a pizza establishment is that the employees get to eat any leftovers or mistakes.  With that in mind comes this WTF moment.  We have a female driver who ALWAYS partakes of the mistakes and leftovers.  I don't care what topic is on the pizza, she will eat it.  The other night when I was cashing her out for the night she asked me if she looked like she had gained weight since she started working there.  I told her no.  WTF?  If you eat pizza every day you work, and you work 4 or more days a week, chances are you are going to gain weight unless you do some major working out.  Plus, I don't even look at her like that.  I like the perfume she wears but as far as physical attraction, it's just not there. 

Why I Sometimes Hate Dealing with the Public

Any person who has any job where they have to deal with the public on a daily basis will tell you that there are certain situations with certain people which could potentially bring out the most evil part of you.  Take for example what happened to me last week.  Customer A placed an order and picked it up.  Friend A called back stating the food was not prepared to Customer A's satisfaction.  I offered to replace the meal.  Friend A said no.  I offered to provide a free meal in the future for Customer A - the catch was she had to ask for me specifically.  Friend A said no.  (Ok. Let's pause for a moment.  Why am I talking to Friend A and not Customer A?)  Back to the story.  At this point I asked Friend A how would she like to resolve the issue because I had offered my best options.  Friend A states Customer A will come get the replacement order.  Friend A comes in the restaurant, takes the new order and returns 1/4 of the original order.  WTF?  I thought you didn't like how the first order was prepared.  To make matters worse, Friend A, not Customer A called our corporate complaint number about the food.  So now I have got my manager's boss on his ass and mine about something I had already taken care of.  It's customers like Friend A that make you want to do bodily harm to a person.

Job Hunt Continues

My hunt for a second job continues and things looked up for a moment.  I had multiple interviews with a couple of companies for supervisor roles but no actual job offers.  Things are starting to get beyond tight financially.  Using my 401k to pay the past due on the mortgage and my truck helped but still have to put food on the table and pay lights, gas and water.  I'm hoping that something comes through soon. 

I'm Gonna Do What I Want to Do

This post is about the latest problem with my wife's insecurity.  Friday, one of my best female friends asked me to go with her to run a few errands.  I told my wife that exact thing, "I am going to run errands with blah."  She just looked at me and continued her conversation on the phone.  I drove to the friend's apartment and we took her car for errands.  I had to go to work so she brought me to my house to grab my work clothes before returning to her apartment to get my vehicle.  While at work that night I received a text from my wife stating to wake her up so we could talk.  When I got home that night I was greeted by my sister in law's dog which I did not know was spending the weekend with us.  Since my aggravation level had just gone up, I opted not to wake my wife.  Saturday morning I received a call from my mother asking what was going on.  Hold up!  Why are you calling my mother about a problem you have with me? Anyway, I assured my mother that I would deal with the situation.  So when my wife returned from taking her sister's dog to the groomer, she walked up to me and stated she was upset about me running errands with my friend but she realized I was going to do what I wanted to do so there was no need in being pissed off.  Ok. Why did it take you so long to come to that conclusion?  If I make it til June, we will be married 10 years.  If you don't know me by now, you may want to start with someone new.

Since My Last Post

A lot has happened to me since my last post.  Some good, some bad and as always some funny.  I'll document what I remember and charge the rest to the game.  The posts will come in no particular order other than how my mind chooses to link them together.

WTF - Titty Sweat

Building off of my previous post, now I want to talk about something else the wife said yesterday which came as a shock.  We had been working in the yard for a while.  Although it was a little windy, the temperature was very nice.  Apparently the temperature was a little warmer than I thought because my wife announced she had "titty sweat."  WTF?  Really?  With your 3 daughters within 10 feet of you, you state you have titty sweat?  I told her that if she was wearing a bra, she might not have that problem.  This is when it got worse.  My wife asks our oldest daughter if she was wearing a bra and if she was sweating around her titties.  WTF?? I don't know what is to be said about that situation.  

WTF - I'm Itching

Sometimes people say and do things that can only be responded to by saying "What the fuck?"  Yesterday provided several of these moments.  The girls, my wife and myself were working in the backyard bagging up leaves.  During the process my wife decides to let everyone know that she was itching.  WTF?  Itching?  First of all, you are from the Delta region on Mississippi where they keep pet mosquitoes.  I know you are not itching from being in the backyard bagging leaves.  Secondly, I have seen you on more than one occasion walk through this backyard barefoot.  So I know you are not talking about itching now. 

Judgement Day Arrives

Today was the day for my wife's hearing for her disability claim.  We had to meet with her lawyer at 730am before going to the location for the hearing.  While at his office we covered what he was going to tell the judge and what my wife should and should not say to help prove her case.  While we were reviewing the information, I hoped my wife could hold herself together to get through having to recount her battles with bipolar/depression/suicidal thoughts.  We rode with the lawyer to the building for the hearing.  When we arrived we were told it would be about 30 minutes before we could see the judge.  After a short time, my wife was called.  I accompanied her and the lawyer to the hearing room.  We walked, got seating and her case began.  Then it ended just as quickly.  The judge explained that based on the information he had in front of him and with assistance from a doctor who explained conditions and medications, he did not need to hear any further testimony.  The judge said he could make a ruling based on the evidence alone.  So that's it.  My wife has completed her fight for her disability claim.  Now it's just a matter of waiting to see how much her fight was worth. 

WTF Moment - Who Wears the Pants in the Family

I came home from work today and was going through the mail when my wife approached me about something that happened to her today.  She explained to me that she had taken a shower earlier in the day and decided to put on a pair of my boxers because they were laying on the dresser.  Let me rephrase that - she tried to put on a pair of my boxers.  Now in days gone past my wife could wear some of my clothes because I used to wear loose fitting garments and she was a little bit smaller. In present day - that ain't happening.  The difference in our sizes has widened (no pun intended) so much that she explained she could not get the boxer above her thighs.  WTF?!! Guess her test today proves who wears the pants in the family since she can no longer fit into mine.

Judgement Day

Well the day is almost here when my world will be changed forever.  After nearly 2 years of not working, my wife's court date has finally arrived.  A lot of things have crossed my mind about this situation and the possible outcomes.  If she does win the case and is awarded disability, will it be enough to actually make an impact on our financial situation?  If she does not win the case, will she be willing to actually look for a job?  Most importantly, if she does not win the case, what will her mental state be like?  Will she be able to cope or will she have another breakdown?  The answers are only a couple of days away. 

Destroying my future to deal with the present

I had to take a desperate move to take care of most of my financial debts.  I had hoped that I would have found another job by now but no such luck.  In order to catch up on the mortgage and my truck note as well as some other bills, I cashed out my 401k from my last full time job.  Good news is that I was able to clear $8000 after the initial tax penalties.  Bad news is that I owed $6000 just for the truck and the mortgage.  Add $450 for daycare, $300 for a trip to the local Sams Club to buy stuff (paper plates and cleaning supplies) in bulk while we had money and you can see how to blow 8g's in a couple of days.  So now my present is ok for the moment but my future looks bleak because I don't have anything saved for retirement.  

Medicine, No Chaser

This is just a piece of friendly advice I want to offer based on my experience today.  You know those warning labels on medicine that suggest you don't consume alcohol while taking them?  You might want to pay those a little more attention in the future.  I am battling a cold and decided to take some daytime cold and flu relief.  In order to speed up my recovery, I decided to take a shot of vodka to help with the congestion.  BAD MOVE!  That was one of the nastiest combinations I have ever tasted.  So please heed my warning.  If you are taking over the counter or prescription cold medication, do not chase it with vodka. 

Out with the old, In with the old

Seems like 2014 is starting off like how 2013 went for me.  My wife decided to go to her mother's house with our kids last weekend.  They returned today.  In the four days she was gone, my wife managed to beak her glasses, get a crack in the windshield of the van and lose one of her rigid gas permeable contacts.  Not bad for a couple days out of town.