Karma

I'm a firm believer in karma to the point I feel that if you put out good vibes you will receive good vibes in return.  I start this post off with that statement based on a recent conversation with my current fast food manager.  Prior to my current location, I worked at another restaurant for the same company but had to commute about 50 miles to work.  I was working overnight at my full time job at that time, so I was only able to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday closing the restaurant.  I didn't know it while I was employed at the old restaurant but the manager did not trust me.  She felt I was underhanded and stealing because it was not feasible to her that I would drive that much to work less than 20 hours a week.  The gas alone almost took half my paycheck.  What she failed to understand was that I keep commuting because I had worked part time for the company for years.  I wanted to make sure I kept my ties to the company close in case my situation changed and needed to move somewhere else and needed a job.  She shared her concerns with my current manager when I transferred from her store to my current job.  Fast forward to today.  My manager loves me.  He was able to get someone with years of experience on his staff that understands the ins and outs of our business.  He realizes my dedication to the job and understands I will not put my livelihood in jeopardy because I have a family to take care of.  My old manager?  He told me her store is chaotic.  She is unable to find any qualified managers and is constantly having to overwork herself because she is understaffed.  I may not have been the best in her eyes but I was a lot better than what she has dealt with in the years since I transferred.  You gotta love karma.

Letting Go

Letting go can be one of the hardest lessons to learn in life.  It is a truly tough pill to swallow.  Just have to keep telling myself, "if you love something, let it go.  If it's meant to be, that something will find it's way back to you."

No Idle Threats

The nephew came home last Thursday and I thought I caught the scent of something on him, possibly weed but was not for certain.  I let it go at the time and went about my business.  The next morning when my alarm woke me, I discovered I had to wait on him to vacate the bathroom so I could get ready for work.  I still had a strange feeling in my soul.  When he came out of the bathroom, I called to him and provided him with the following threat.  "I love you to death because you are my wife's family.  I don't know who it is that you are around or what it is that you may be doing, but my advice to you is to stop.  I have warned you before that if you bring any drama to my house around my girls I will put you out.  So this is your last reminder.  If you bring any bullshit to my house - anything or anyone that can harm my daughters - I will kill you without a second thought.  Am I clear?"  Caught like a deer in headlights, he could only nod his head in agreement.  I don't make idle threats when it comes to my children.  I will go to jail to protect them.  I'm sure he understands that.  If not, he will learn firsthand. 

One Week Past Surgery

Today is the 7 day mark since I had the tumor removed from my leg.  I see the doctor tomorrow for my follow up.  Hopefully she will have some information in regards to what exactly that thing was inside of my leg.  The last week has not come without its challenges.  The hardest thing I have encountered is the inability to bend my left knee.  I'm able to walk with no major problem but you really don't think about how much you do something as simple as bend your knee until you can't do it.  Getting into my truck has become a process involving sitting down with my legs still outside the vehicle and then swinging myself to the correct position.  The time it takes to walk up and down stairs has doubled because I can only step up with the right leg and then follow with the left leg on the same step rather than each foot take the next ascending step.  I never realized how much stuff we actually keep on the bottom shelf of my fast food job until this weekend when it was impossible for me to reach down and get it.  I'm happy the surgery was successful and look forward to continued recovery progress. 

When Things Don't Match

Everyday we run across things that don't seem to match or go together.  Whether it is an odd clothing ensemble or a vehicle and its owner, sometimes things don't appear as if they should be paired together.  Today I went to the store and observed what I deemed a mismatched vehicle/owner situation.  I drive a crossover utility vehicle.  I am about 5'7" so it seems to be a good fit for me.  I saw a lady at the store today who could not have been more than 5'3".  She was getting into the driver's seat of a Toyota Sequoia.  Just as the name implies, this is a huge vehicle.  She may as well have been climbing into the rig of a 18-wheeler.  For the life of me, I could not figure out why a young lady that small would need that much vehicle.  Guess it's just a case of when things don't match, at least in my eyes.

Recovery From Surgery

Recovery from my surgery has not gone quite as smooth as I hoped.  Today is the first day I have been able to go a complete 24 hours and not throw up.  It happened on the way home from surgery on Monday.  It happened in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday.  It happened on Wednesday morning (although I think this time was due to extremely high blood sugar).  As far as the pain in my leg goes, it has not been too bad.  I am actually able to move around pretty good without crutches if I take my time.  Tomorrow will be the true test of how much I have recovered since I will be returning to work.  Hopefully, the pain will not arise and I can make it through the day.  Should I encounter more pain than I feel I can tolerate, I have some prescription pain killers to help.  We'll see what happens. 

Surgery was a success

Yesterday's surgery was completed with no problems.  The doctor was able to go in and remove the tumor from the nerve in my leg.  Now I just have to give it time to heal.  I'm thankful she was able to complete the removal.  As I sit here right now trying to enter this blog, the pain has increased significantly since yesterday.  Guess that means the leg is really starting to come back to life and is trying to heal. 

When You're Gone

They buried my deceased co-worker this past Saturday.  The funeral home allowed friends and family to view the body on Friday.  I went to see him and to pay my last respects.  Another co-worker went with me to "provide support" as she put it, in case I couldn't bear the sight of him in the casket.  I told her I would be very brief.  I walked in, looked at the body and commented about him looking a little bigger than I last remember.  I also talked about his yellow shirt and tie.  Dressed to the nines as I always remember him.  I said I know he has moved on to a better place and I took my leave.  It's still hard to believe he's gone.  I heard somewhere in the past a man's worth can be measured by the length of the line at his funeral procession. Based on the signatures in his guestbook when I saw the body, my friend was worth gold to a lot of people. 

Countdown to Surgery

Today is the day.  I have to be at the hospital in 3 hours to get ready for my surgery.  I think I have covered all my bases this time.  My youngest will go to daycare so that she is under trusted adult supervision during the process.  The two older kids will remain at home.  I spent nearly $100 last night at the grocery store so they have plenty to eat and snack on while I am away.  I sent a mass text message to my friends reminding them that I will not have my phone until after the procedure is complete.  Now it's just a matter of getting dressed and getting to the hospital on time to get this over with.  A couple of my close friends have expressed their concern about the procedure over the last couple of days for various reasons.  I have assured all of them the process will go smooth and I will be back on my feet in no time.  I just hope I am not being over confident this time around. 

Pre-Op Visit

I went to the hospital today for my pre-op visit in preparation for my surgery on Monday.  I really like the idea of a pre-op visit.  I was able to get all of my insurance and payment information squared.  They got all the required information about my medical history.  The facility even went so far as to draw blood.  So Monday all I have to do is walk-in, get my ID bracelet, go to surgery and go home. 

Some Questions Shouldn't Be Asked

I was sitting at my computer today watching youtube and eating.  My wife came into the room and asked me a question.  She asked, "What can I do to be a better wife?"  My response was "I don't even know where to start."  I advised her to deter from that line of questioning because my answers were about to get real ugly.  It seems to me that after nearly 9 years of marriage, if you have to ask what you need to do to be a better spouse, then you have a lot of work to do.  After that amount of time, the relationship should be on cruise control.  If not, it may be time to change drivers.  Or worse yet, it may be time to change vehicles and start with something new.   

Doctor Appointment

Today's doctor appointment did not go as well as I had planned.  I found out today that my A1C was a 10.8 compared to the 8.8 back in March.  That means my blood sugar averaged about 50 points higher since March.  This news was doubly devastating because of all the low sugar episodes I experienced recently.  I know I went thru 4 tubes of glucose tablets last week.  The doctor commended me on some of my behaviors.  Problem is that I am not putting it all together.  If I remember to test my blood sugar, then I don't take insulin for the food I eat.  If I take insulin for my food, I don't bolus.  Have to start putting it all together.  I need to start getting this right because I can't afford for anything to go wrong. 

Memorial Day 2013

Wanted to drop a quick post about Memorial Day 2013 because I normally don't do too much on holidays.  I got up yesterday morning and ran to the store to grab some ice.  I had been grocery shopping several times over the weekend trying to get everything I would need to cook.  My game plan was to cook all the fish, chicken and steaks we bought from the discount meat man.  That way we would have leftovers to eat during the week and it would also free up some much needed freezer space.  I started cooking at around 10am.  I had sent text messages to about 6 people I work with inviting to come by and grab something.  I got a bunch of "ok" replies but no one actually showed up.  After cooking on a charcoal grill and a George Foreman grill about 4 hours, I had a refrigerator full of meat.  I took some to my part time job to share with the crew there.  Haven't heard any complaints so far.  All in all, it was not a bad day.

WTF Moment - What are you wearing?

At no point in time should I feel uncomfortable in my own house.  The house is my zone.  I came home Tuesday night after work and the nephew's girlfriend was in the living room on the couch watching TV.  I spoke and went about my business as usual.  A little while later, I went back to her so I could inform her about making sure the nephew put a copy of the updated car insurance in his vehicle.  It was at this point in time when I noticed what she was wearing.  She had on a pair of boxers and a tshirt with the sleeves and sides removed.  The shirt was basically like a cape covering her back and front.  What it didn't cover was the side view.  I had full view of her breast from the side.  What the fuck?  Who does that?  Yes, I am married and have 3 girls.  I just don't have the desire to see the titties of my nephew's girlfriend cause she is hot. 

Another Damn Ticket?

A letter came in the mail Wednesday for the nephew from the municipal court.  I always open what I consider to be important mail for him due to his reading handicap.  The letter stated he had a ticket which needed to be paid or he had to appear in court.  The amount of the ticket was over $600.  What the fuck?  What in the hell was he doing to get a $600 ticket.  That's his whole paycheck.  And there is no way in hell he can afford a ticket right now.  I hope the ticket is the one for the insurance and once he presents proof, it can be pulled.  If not, he is truly screwed.  Worse yet, if this ticket hits his record and my insurance goes up, he is as good as dropped. 

Lost Ones

I found out Monday one of my former co-workers passed away.  I am still unsure of all of the details.  Bottom line is he is gone.  I've been thinking about him and his family all week.  My biggest concern is his kids.  They loved their father.  I know this is going to be hard on them.  It really made me think about the time I spend/don't spend with my kids.  I really need to start being a father and not just a financial provider.  I don't want something to happen to me and end up regretting time I could have spent with them. 

Haven't Heard From

Yesterday I realized it has been two weeks since I heard from someone I considered a good friend.  We had a slight disagreement about something.  I thought we were better than to let something meaningless come between us.  The person has not texted or called me and I have not reached out to her.  In a way, I want to talk to them because something important happened this week.  On the other hand, to me it's not that serious.  Yes, I value friendship.  I just don't value it enough to kiss anybody's ass. 

We Need to Talk

Last Saturday my wife and I decided we needed to address the nephew and his girlfriend about several topics concerning the house and their living with us.  I came home between jobs in order to have the conversation.  We talked to them about the late night cooking and the fact that there was no way in hell they were going to eat better than my family when they didn't pay for the food.  We talked to them about cleaning up around the house, especially the dishes they were getting dirty with the late night cooking.  We talked to them about arguing over stupid shit.  It seemed there was some confusion/problems caused by a statement made by a friend of my wife's to the nephew.  We squashed that shit.  We discussed how much they need to pay for living with us.  Most importantly we discussed them getting out of the house before this baby is born in November.  For those of you keeping count, this is kid number 3 for the nephew.  He'll be 23 with 3 kids by 3 different women and no college education.  No amount of talking in the world if going to improve that situation. 

The Great Steak Caper

The gentleman who provides my family with the discount steak, chicken and seafood products paid us a visit last week.  We ended up purchasing about $300 worth of steaks and chicken - enough to last for several weeks.  Among the steaks were 8 New York strips.  I don't know if you are a carnivore like me but I know those New York Strips are good and can be expensive.  With that being said, the same night we purchased the meat, the nephew's girlfriend decided to cook a New York strip.  I didn't think too much about it cause the food is there to be eaten.  Where I took issue with her actions is the next night when she decided to cook 2 more.  Hold on honey!  You didn't pay for those.  I'll be damned if you gonna eat me out of house and home and we not even related by blood or marriage.  My wife and I put a stop to the steak caper on last Saturday, so we thought.  That part will be another entry. 

Time Flies

Somehow I have once again let a week pass by without writing anything in this blog.  I can't say that I have not thought about it.  Daily I would mentally tell myself I need to make entries.  I just did not take the time to sit down at the computer and commit my thoughts to the internet.  I'm fully aware of the ability to mobile blog.  I just choose not to use that method.  It's something about sitting here at my desktop that seems calming and therapeutic.  A lot has happened in the last week.  I'll try to put down as much as I can as quickly as I can cause time flies, thoughts are forgotten and things change.