WTF Moment - Another Houseguest

Yesterday I received a phone call from my manager about a mandatory meeting.  (Amazing how mandatory things for both my jobs always occur when I'm not supposed to be at work.)  When I returned home from the meeting my wife informed me that her niece was coming to spend the night.  WTF?  You didn't ask if it was okay with me?  We don't live in a mansion or a hotel.  We stay in a 3 bedroom house.  The nephew and his girlfriend sleep in one room.  My two oldest sleep in a room and my wife sleeps in the main bedroom with  the youngest.  I sleep on the couch. I'm guessing the niece slept in the room with the nephew since they are brother and sister but I imagine that was awkward as fuck.  Maybe not since the niece is a lesbian.  Regardless, I just don't understand why my home has become a parking garage and a hotel for her family every time they are in the area.

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

I recently shared my interpretation of "A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime" with one of my female co-workers. I told her about how I felt people fit into your lives and how their positions could change passed on the events taking place around us.  Obviously, she asked where she fit in my life.  I told her at this point, I think she is a season.  I think she is there to get me through my current work situation.  (I did not share this part with her.  I really think that if either of us transition to another job, our season will be over.)  I feel I am a reason in her life.  I feel my specific purpose in her life is to get her through this job and the bump she is having with her marriage.  Once those two goals are accomplished, I'll vanish off into the sunset.  I was also thinking about a former close friend of mine who I thought was in my life for a lifetime.  I guess I judged that one wrong.  It seems she was there for a season and now the leaves of change have sent us on on separate ways.  Thus is the way of life.  People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  You have to judge them well.  

Doctor's Visit

I went to see my diabetic doctor on Monday.  There was a new nutrition expert there so we discussed my eating habits (or the lack thereof) as well as exercise and how I manage my extreme glucose levels.  The doctor came in and her eyes were as big as half dollars when she looked at my readings from last week.  Almost every time I tested my glucose last week, it was low.  Last Thursday I bottomed out several times throughout the day.  She asked if I thought my insulin settings were correct.  I told her yes and that stress from work was contributing to my lows.  She said stress usually has the opposite affect on people.  I reminded her that I am the exception to most rules of the diabetic game plan.  We agreed that I should reduce my insulin intake while at both jobs.  She also stated I should test more often at work.  I'm hoping last week's situation was an isolated event.  If I have another day like last Thursday when I end up eating 2 full tubes of glucose tablets just to get through a single day at my full time job, I am taking time off to pursue other options.  I can't afford for a job to stress me to the point of putting my health at risk.  

Return From Vacation

Prior to my wife and kids returning from their beach vacation, I tried to make sure the house was clean.  I swept and mopped the kitchen.  I cleaned the glass kitchen table.  I washed all the dishes.  I cleaned and organized the living room.  I washed all the clothes and folded them.  Today, with them back, things are back to normal.  I have cups throughout my living room and kitchen in various places.  There are dishes in the sink.  Dirty clothes are in the wash room on the floor and in the washer.  There is a load of dry clothes in the dryer from a couple of days ago.  Granted I missed my family, I didn't miss the mess they make when they are here.

Guess the Gas Evaporated

I normally cut my grass on my off days from my full time job which are Tuesday and Wednesday.  Last week, I went to the store and purchased about 2 gallons of gas for the mower.  My usual routine is to top off before I start, cut about half the yard, top off again and finish the other half.  For those wondering, I have a Poulan push mower.  I added that piece of information for this post to make a little more sense.  Fast forward to this week.  I went outside yesterday to cut the grass.  I went to my gas can to top off what was in the mower.  The can was empty.  I scratched my head for a minute trying to remember if I purchased gas last week because if so, then there should have been some remaining.  I remember getting gas because the store was in the process of lowering the price when I was there.  I didn't kill any ant beds with gas because I have some actual fire ant powder.  My weed eater is now electric and I did not use the blower.  Therefore, I should have had some gas remaining.  I called the nephew to ask if he knew what happened to the gas in the can because I remember him asking for gas money last week.  He told me he didn't know anything about it.  So I guess the gas just evaporated from the can and I am just plain stupid.

Conversation with the Nephew

Last Thursday I was home trying to relax. I was actually laying on my couch playing Angry Birds Star Wars on my cell phone.  The nephew comes in and decides he wants to ask me a few questions.  I guess over the years of being around me, he has not learned that you should not disturb my relaxation with foolishness.  He asked me if I thought he made bad decisions.  My response was a quick, "Yep."  His follow up question was  if I thought he would be in jail or dead if he was not living with us.  He received a second "yep."  Then he turned that corner.  He asked why I felt that way.  I politely stopped my game and lit into his ass.  I explained to him that he had no follow through.  I explained he was not wise with his money even though my wife and I both tried to tell him how to prepare for his future.  I reminded him that, as the old saying goes he does not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.  His only worldly possessions are his clothes and his car.  He has no money saved and has baby number 3 due in November.  I explained to him he had to stop doing what he wanted to do and start doing what he had to do.  I reminded him that come November, I need him, his girlfriend and his newborn out of my house.  By the time our conversation ended he was in tears.  Oh well.  Don't ask the question if you don't really want the answer.

When You Genuinely Care

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how much I care about her and her well being.  I think the following statement summed everything up fairly well.  "I have cared for you since you joined my team years ago.  The strength of my caring has increased exponentially as our relationship has grown."

I Think My Job is Slowly Killing Me

Often times we hear people use the exaggerated expression "This job is killing me."  Other times, the statement is true.  People who work in high risk fields put their lives on the line to provide for themselves and their family.  My job is not high risk but it is very high stress.  That has become more and more evident recently.  Today was a great example of why this job may put me in an early grave.  I went in to work 2 hours early hoping to get some stuff done.  When I arrived at work, my blood sugar was over 200.  No big deal.  Take some insulin and keep it pushing.  Once people started to arrive and my day got started, I could feel myself getting sick.  When I checked my sugar, it was 40.  I had just purchased a tube of glucose tablets from the store so I quickly swallowed 8 of them.  I started to feel better.  My day continued and so did the stress.  A few hours later when I should have been going to lunch, I was stuck at my desk because my peers were MIA.  I checked my sugar again.  This time it was 50.  Luckily I had another tube of glucose tablets.  So during my normal shift plus 2 hours minus a lunch, I managed to damn near bottom out twice.  No job should be that stressful.  No job should put you to the point you risk your life due to stress.  Days like this make finding something else seem like a great idea.

Open mouth, Insert Foot

As an Aries, I usually pride myself on being blunt and direct.  I don't sugarcoat or give the politically correct version of what I am saying.  I give the unedited and uncensored version.  Every now and then, for the sake of someone who I know can't take me at my realest, I will tune back my nature a bit.  This was not the case this evening.  I had something I needed to tell a friend that I knew was going to cause a problem.  I had been holding on the information waiting for the best time to deliver the message.  Well, I delivered the news and now I am not too sure it was such a good idea.  I usually don't dwell on things like this but something is not sitting right with me right now.  Not too sure why but fee like I just opened my mouth and inserted my whole foot.

Memories Back Then

There is currently a song out featuring T.I., B.o.B and Kendrick Lamar called "Memories Back Then."  Every time I hear the song, I start thinking about my past.  I'm usually the type of person that lives in the moment and plans on the future although it's not promised.  Unfortunately, my current life status makes the future look dismal at times.  I prefer to think back to yesteryear. Back to when I was in grade school when my only concern was getting good grades and getting toys.  Back to high school where, even though I wasn't one of the cool kids with the rich parents and the big house, I still fit in and held my own.  Back to the last few years of my life which were changed forever by a very special person to me.  I know people say you have to let the past go and move on.  I just refuse to let go of the wonderful memories I have from back then.

How I Spent My Anniversary

To piggyback off my last post, I'm going to share how I spent my anniversary.  I had put in a request to be off last Saturday morning and was approved.  Unfortunately a project came up on last Friday which had to be completed by today.  To ensure I would be able to complete the project, my plan was to go in for a short time on Saturday and get most of the hard work done leaving just a few loose ends for today.  WRONG!  I ended up spending my entire day at work on Saturday.  The good news is that I had already spent time with my wife earlier in the week (we went to the movies) so she was not completely heartbroken.  Bad news is that I spent the entire day dealing with lazy, stupid people who were wasting my time.  Not exactly how I planned to spend my anniversary.  I guess once again, I am my own worst enemy.

Nine Years

This past Saturday marked my 9 year wedding anniversary.  I can't believe I am still married to this woman.  Especially after all we have been through.  Despite my cheating and her depression/suicide attempts, we have  managed to stay together.  At times I am thankful for her.  At other times, I think I would be much better off without her.  For now, fate seems to think we need each other.  We'll see if this relationship survives another 9 years or if it just fizzles away to nothing.

Time for a Change

I pride myself on being loyal to companies.  I've had the same car insurance and cell phone provider for over a decade.  I worked my first job at a grocery store in high school and even returned during holidays and summers through college.  I have been with my current part time company for over 12 years and (if i can hang on) will be with my current full time employer 6 years in August.  I'm really starting to wonder if I am going to make it to the 6 year mark.  The dynamic of my job is changing and I am not liking the current vibe. My company continues to be reactive rather than proactive.  Everybody wants to point fingers but no one wants to claim responsibility for the problems we have and offer logical solutions.  It seems like we keep putting bandages on a deep cut rather than stitching the wound and giving it the proper time to heal.  I'm at the point where days like yesterday make me question how much I like my job.  I think it may be time to start seriously looking for other options.  I know it is impossible to be productive at a place I am unhappy.  It may be time to change my scenery so I can see a brighter future.

WTF Moment - You Want a Puppy?

I haven't posted one of these in a while so I felt this would be a great one to talk about.  Wednesday night I was at my computer goofing off, watching videos on youtube.  The nephew's girlfriend was in the next room talking on the phone.  Apparently she suffers from a condition where she has talked on cell phones too long. She was speaking to the person so loudly, I could almost make out the entire conversation.  The part I did pick up on raised my concern because she was inquiring about a puppy - a pit to be exact.  I didn't say anything to her because I was not sure of the details as to when she planned on getting the dog and where it would be kept.  So yesterday at work I received a text message from her asking if she could get a puppy.  She said she would be responsible for taking care of it.  WTF?  Chick are you serious?  You can barely take care of yourself and you want to take care of a dog?  You are 4 months pregnant and barely working.  How are you going to afford food and medical care for this animal?  You dragged your feet trying to sign up for government assistance to help get you through this pregnancy.  And a motherfucking pit?  Bitch please!  There is no way in the hell you bringing that type of dog to my house around my daughters.  I'll end up killing the dog and you.  So no puppy for the girlfriend.

Love and Attraction

What do you do when you are no longer attracted to a person you are supposed to love?  I throw this out because I think I have reached that point with my wife.  We are days away from our 9yr wedding anniversary.  If I had it to do over again, I would have stayed single.  My wife and I were at the house one day last week and I was changing clothes for work  She stared at me like a lion stares at an injured gazelle.  I just shook my head.  Last week she asked me, "Do you get as excited when I undress?"  I told her she didn't want to know my answer to that question.  My wife has gained some weight over the years.  All of it seems to in her stomach.  Even though our youngest is 4, she still gets asked regularly if she pregnant.  I got her a gym membership to try and help her get in shape.  That is now a waste of $10 a month cause she has not seen the inside of the facility in forever.  This is really how bad the situation has gotten for me.  I came home last night from work and went to the bedroom to get some clothes.  My wife was laying on the bed completely naked and asleep.  Most men would have jumped at that opportunity, hoping for sex. I, on the other hand, looked at her, shook my head in disgust and proceeded to gather my clothes.  I'm wondering how much longer the relationship can last when the love and attraction has died on my side.

Support System

One of my co-workers went thru a serious situation with her husband last week.  Things became so intense, she came to me for advice.  Acting as part of her support system, I recommended she leave the house for a couple of days until the situation calmed down.  Her parents, acting as the main part of her support system, allowed her and the kids to stay with them over the weekend.  Due to this, the husband saw the err of his ways and changed his tune.  I used to think I had a great support system.  I say "used to" because while helping her this weekend, I realized my options for support have become somewhat limited.  I can still always go to family.  The other two main components of my old support system are no longer available.  One friend moved away to pursue a career in another city.  I haven't talked to the other friend in a month.  Good news is that I have not had any of those do or die crisis pop up recently.  My old support system is currently on life support. It may be time to start looking into alternative support options, if there are any out there that fit my strict criteria.  

Father's Day 2013

I've been hearing the words "Happy Father's Day" since I arrived at work this morning.  I've gotten a dozen text messages saying the same.  Right now, however, it's not a happy father's day to me.  First of all, my 3 children are 2 hours away at a family reunion with my wife's relatives.  It's not that I would have spent a lot of time with the girls today because I had to work but it would have been nice to at least see them.  As a matter of fact, they have not talked to me since they left Friday morning.  Add to my misery the fact that I come home to bullshit I have tried to prevent.  The nephew and his live-in girlfriend took it upon themselves to move the two tower fans I have for my living plus the wind tunnel floor model fan I purchased and put all of them in their bedroom.  To make things even more aggravating, they are both not here right now but left all the devices on.  That's ok.  I have a cure for that.  Every single fan in the house with the exception of the ceiling fans will be in my truck when I go to work.  I don't give a fuck if they both pass out from the heat.  I am tired of repeating myself to grown people.  I'll show them better than I can tell them.

Stop Begging

Yesterday morning prior to leaving for work, the nephew asked if he could borrow some money from me to be able to put gas in the car to transport himself and the girlfriend to and from work.  Knowing the importance of them both needing to make as much money as possible as the time before their baby is born winds down, I agreed to give him what I could.  I returned home from job one and got dressed for job 2.  I laid $20 for gas on the bed next to his sleeping carcass.  After I had been at work for about an hour, my cell phone rang.  It was a call coming from my house phone.  Knowing that my wife and kids were out of town and due to the fact we were busy at job 2, I did not answer.  A little while later the nephew showed up at my job asking if he could get some food for his girlfriend.  I politely told him no.  How both of you working, not paying any real bills and still begging for free food multiple times in a week?  I need him to learn to stop begging and work on being able to provide for him and his family.

Post Surgery Pics

Here are the pics of my surgery.  The pics show my leg prior to being cut open, my leg with the tumor in, my leg with the tumor removed and the actual tumor outside of my leg. 

Post Surgery Scars

I went to the doctor for my follow up appointment today.  The good news is that the tumor was benign.  She removed the wrap from my leg today so I am able to walk a little bit more like normal than before.  The surgery did leave a couple of scars.  One is located on the back of my knee where she removed the tumor.  The other scar is about 3 inches below the knee on my left calf where she went in and released the tension on the nerve caused by the tumor.  I've decided to include the scar pics in this post.  I will post pictures of the actual tumor when I get them from the surgeon.