Thank God for Insurance

The total cost for the repairs to me vehicle is going to be about $2800.  Thanks to insurance, I am only responsible for $500 of that.  The body shop called and told me my vehicle should be ready on next Thursday.  I'm happy that the repairs will only take about a week.  And I am even happier that my insurance will cover the majority of the repair.  There is no way I could have afforded the repair straight out of pocket, especially with all my current financial woes. Thank God for insurance. 

The Job Hunt

My wife had her first interview in her quest for a new job today.  The position was as a manager at a fast food restaurant.  She has done it before so experience is on her side.  The interviewer informed her he would follow up on Tuesday.  She called to tell me that she felt good after the interview.  We will see how this plays out. 

Dancing with the Devil Again

As I sit here and think about the events of the last week of so, I now realize that my old dance partner, the Devil, is at it again.  It took me a while to relize he has been tapping me on the shoulder trying to cut in on my state of happiness.  But, sitting here, replaying events in my head, I now know that what was once a gentle peck with a a single finger is now a blatant hit on the shoulder with an open palm.  Well, he has my full attention now.  Unfortunately for me and those around me, it came at a great cost.  I usually am able to catch these things but I have had so much going on in mind that I overlooked the obvious.  One thing is clear.  The Devil has decided he wants to dance with me.  I just want to know how long and how tight he is going to hold on to me. 

No One was Hurt

I was in an accident yesterday.  Damaged the front end of my vehicle on the bumper area.  The other car was damaged on the entire front end.  The impact was enough for the other driver's airbags to deploy.  The good news is that even though the airbags came out, no one was hurt.  Cars can always be repaired or replaced.  Human life is irreplaceble.  I'm just still thankful that no one was hurt.

Mental Mistakes

I made a mental mistake at work on Tuesday.  I miscounted some money which made it look like we were short.  When I discovered the error, it was too late to fix it.  I sent a message to my boss to alert him of the problem and that I would come in Wednesday morning to get it fixed.  He called later and tried to get a better understanding of what took place.  I knew he would not understand what happened because it took me a while to determine exactly what I did to cause the problem.  After my explanation, he went on a tirade about me making another mental mistakes.  He reminded me that my mistakes were becoming more frequent.  He told me to get my head in the game.  That's easier said than done.  My problem is that I participate in so many different games, I have to change jerseys and adapt to a different set of rules 4-5 times a day.  That's enough to wear anyone out mentally and physically. 

National No Bra Day

While playing on the web a little while ago, I found out that today is National No Bra Day.  Thoughts started racing through my mind with this discovery.  My first thought was that there are several people that I wish I could assist in celebrating this holiday.  My second and more important thought was that I wish many females, including my wife, would learn that this day only comes once a year.  I understand both sides of the argument about bras.  I see the benefits and understand the pain women go through to look presentable. 

Let the Job Hunt Begin

My wife has finally decided to start searching for another job.  She was released from her duties as a teacher due to her excessive absence from work and not providing proper documentation.  Now comes the fun part.  She has to quickly find a job to start bringing money back into the house.  The real X-factor in this situation is that she managed to fuck up the perfect job in my opinion as it relates to our kids.  With her being a teacher, she was almost guaranteed to have the same off days as the girls as it relates to holidays and staff development.  She would be at home at night with our daughters.  But all that is about to change.  Even if she can find another day time job, I doubt her schedule will be what we need in regards to the kids off days.  Also, you have to consider that she may end up having to work nights.  So now I have to try and figure out what to do with my kids, if we both end up working nights.  Let the job hunt begin and let's see where we end up. 

Something I'm Hiding

We all have secrets.  There are things about us that very few people, if any, know about us.  We keep those things to ourselves for a variety of reasons.  Usually it is because we are unsure how people around us will react to the information.  I am usually a very personable individual.  I like having fun and pride myself on not stressing over things because life is too short.  Stress will only assist in making life shorter.  I like to joke a lot and use sarcasm whenever possible.  It's just who I am.  But there is another side to me.  A side I keep hidden for a reason.  Opposite my usually positive demeanor is a cold, calculating, straight to the point asshole.  That side of me is the truly emotionless side. Growing up in my environment, I had to develop a "I don't give a fuck" attitude to gain respect.  I learned to tweak that so I could be respected and approachable.  Problem is, what people experience today is a very toned down version of that asshole that I keep hidden inside of me.  With all of the challenges I am starting to face in life with work and family, it is getting harder and harder to keep him at bay.  He almost got out at work Sunday.  Luckily I caught it before it was too late.  I don't want people that I like to have to deal with the something I'm hiding. 

Cool Quote

Accept who you are, completely.  Make changes as you see fit and not because someone else wants you to be different. 

Taking People for Granted

I was reminded tonight why it is important to never take people for granted.  Tonight was a typical night at my job.  It was Friday and we were busy as expected.  As the night started to wind down, we began to clean up.  My team knows the list of cleaning duties so everyone picks a task.  One of the young ladies I work with usually cleans several things as part of her nightly ritual.  I never really thought much of it other than it was part of her routine.  She had an emergency tonight and had to leave early.  It was not until she left that I realized how much I had been taking her hard work for granted.  Without her being there, the cleaning tasks you normally performed had to be given to someone else.  Rather than me being able to stand back and manage the team, I had to show someone how to clean because they did not know how.  I realized it was those little things that she did which had the biggest impact.  I am going to make it a point to let her know how much I appreciate everything she does.  I don't want her to think that I take her hard work and dedication for granted. 

WTF Moment

My wife called me on Thursday and said she had some good news and some bad news.  The good news was that she was unable to go on the last excursion of the vacation she took with her mother and sister, the travel company was going to refund a portion of her money.  The bad news was that she had managed to lose her contacts.  Did I mention that she wears gas permeable contacts and not disposables?  When I asked if she had her glasses, she informed me she did not have them with her.  WTF?  How in the hell do you manage to go out of town with our children and render yourself useless?  Only in my world does this shit happen. 

Missing You

While I was at work today, my cell phone began to ring.  It was my wife.  She was calling to tell me that our youngest daughter woke up this morning and was missing me.  I told my wife the decision to go visit her mother and stay the majority of the week, rested completely on her shoulders.  I let my wife know that she was the reason my daughter was missing me. 

WTF Moment

Only my wife can provide this type of comic relief.  The stuff she says and does at times is straight out of a "How Not to be an Adult" book.  My wife sent me a text message today asking if I could put $4 in her checking account.  I thought I misread the message at first so I double checked.  $4.  Really?  WTF??! Not $5, $10 or $20.  Four Fucking dollars.  Who does that?  The answer to that question would be my wife and only my wife.  

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

My wife decided the spend the fourth of July holiday with her mother and the rest of her family away from me because I was scheduled to work.  No big deal. Shit happens.  I spoke to my nephew today and he asked if I had talked to my wife.  I told him yes because she had texted me earlier about something (which will be my next blog entry.)  He went on to say that she called and woke him up this morning.  She asked what he did on the fourth and then started questioning him about what I did. Really?  You have to ask someone else to find out what I did?  Last time I checked, the best way to get straight information was to get it straight from the source.  That's ok.  Her inquiring mind wanted to know what I did for the fourth.  I hope she was satisfied with the "nothing" response she received because that was the majority of my day. 

Another Lonely Holiday

Today is the 4th of July.  It's the day we celebrate the independence of our country.  It's a day off of work for many people.  It's also a chance for families to come together and enjoy each other's  company.  Weather permitting, it is a great chance for some fun in the sun.  I remember when I was younger, the 4th of July meant an awesome barbeque and my grandmother's house.  Uncles and cousins drinking budweiser and playing cards.  Watergun fights for the kids.  Fun times.  This 4th of July I am home alone waiting to go to work.  My wife and kids left yesterday to spend the rest of the week at her mother's house.  I guess I should look at it as the silver lining on a cloud because I can try to get some housework done without interference.  I am a loner for the most part because I grew up an only child but every now and then, I feel the need for companionship.  Every now and then, I don't like dealing with another lonely holiday. 

When Someone Cares

When someone cares, they try to know as much about you as possible.  When someone cares, they know the stuff that's not public knowledge.  They know the intricate details about your life.  The reason they know so much is because they have expressed a genuine interest in who you are and what makes you unique.  I was reminded of this last night.  I was hanging out with a close friend and started feeling bad due to my blood sugar being low.  As soon as the words left my mouth, she sprang into action like a superhero.  Knowing that I am diabetic, she keeps a supply of glucose tablets in case I ever need them.  My wife doesn't even do that for me.  I took a few of the tablets and started feeling better.  That's the mark of a true friend.  That's how you know someone cares about you.  That's how you know someone loves you.   

Me and My Big Mouth

My smart ass mouth almost got me fired Monday.  I had a very rough night at my part time job Sunday night.  I just was not focused on the business and it really showed.  When I arrived to work on Monday, the manager asked what happened.  I looked at him and said I don't know. He reminded me that we had just talked about my performance recently.  He asked if he should take my keys to the store.  I politely handed them over.  I gathered my personal effects and asked if I was suspended or fired.  He asked what action did I think he should take.  I told him he should do what he felt was best for the business.  He looked at me, threatened to beat my ass and told me to get to work.  Gotta be more careful.  Don't think I'll get another opportunity like that again.  My smart ass mouth almost wrote a check that my ass was not going to be able to cash. 

Weight Gain? I Just Can't See It

During my doctor visit last week, she informed me that if I started taking better care of myself and followed her instructions, I would probably gain some weight.  Now most people would not want to hear this information but considering I weigh about 115, I can stand to gain a few pounds.  Here's the problem.  My eating habits are so crazy, even with following the doctor's orders, I don't think I am going to gain weight. Here's how my eating went Sunday.  I got up and went to work.  Breakfast was a bag of chips from the vending machine.  A couple of hours later I got another bag of chips and a candy bar.  We started having problems at work so I got too busy to take an actual lunch.  I left job one and headed to job two.  I ate a piece of cheesebread at job two.  That's the menu for the whole day.  I don't think any of that constitutes a meal and therefore I don't see any weight gain happening.  We'll see what happens. 

Doctor's Orders

I went and saw my doctor last week expecting our usual conversation about my health and needing to take care of myself for me and my family, blah, blah, blah.  I got part of that conversation.  The other thing my doctor told me really got my attention.  She told me that she wanted me to come back in 2 weeks for some blood work.  She also wants me back in 4 weeks for a full workup.  She told me that if she does not see significant improvment in my vitals, she plans to take more drastic measures.  She let me know that she would change my medications and the frequency of my visits.  That was an eye opener. I know I have to do right now.  I don't have time or more importantly the money to start seeing a doctor once a month or more frequently.  I don't have the time or the patience to learn a new medicine regiment.  Looks like I will be following my doctor's orders very closely.

One Step Closer to Victory

I was really concerned about my grade for my last online class.  I procrastinated and did not turn in 2 of the written assignments which dropped me out of A range immediately.  Going into my fnal paper, I had an 80 which is the lowest B possible.  Considering that I turned the paper in 3 days late and taking into account possible grammatical errors, etc., I hoped that I did good enough to get a C out of the class.  Well the results are in.  Guess what?  I got an A on the final paper and a B overall in the class.  That puts me one step closer to my goal of getting my Masters Degree.  I've come too far to fuck up now.  Might have to really start being selfish and taking care of me because I am too close to victory to lose.