Surgery Follow Up - Good News and Bad News

I had my follow up visit with the doctor yesterday following the unsuccessful initial surgery.  The good news is that he was able to remove the stitches without a problem.  More good news is that he feels since the problem is nerve related, I don't have to wear the ankle brace and night splint any more.  The bad news is that he wants me to see another doctor about a possible nerve graft for my leg.  A nerve graft will require someone to remove the bad section of nerve in my leg and replace it with good nerve tissue from another body part.  I'm not too comfortable with the idea of being cut in two places to fix one problem.  I am also not comfortable with the doctor he has initially recommended because based on what I have seen on the internet, this doctor does not specialize in nerve work.  I think I am going to look for an alternate doctor.  I can't handle any more bad news about this leg problem. 

Abnormal Cells

My wife received a letter in the mail today following up on her annual doctor visit.  The letter stated the pap smear revealed some "abnormal cells."  The clinic wants to conduct a colposcopy exam to determine what may have caused the cells.  The test must be conducted within the next 4-6 weeks.  I find this truly amazing.  It seems we are both breaking down at the same time.  Hopefully, the test will reveal that nothing serious is wrong.  If not, we will just deal with what comes. 

Looking Toward Tomorrow

I'm looking toward tomorrow with a lot of mixed emotions.  Tomorrow is the day I go back to the doctor to have the stitches removed from my leg.  More importantly, hopefully the doctor will have some updated information on what options are available to remove the tumor.  My biggest fear is that whatever option(s) he provides, the road to recovery will not be easy.  Everything in my mind keeps telling me that once they go inside my leg again, I will have to start over learning how to walk.  Add to that, the fact I am diabetic and you have a one-two combination which could put me down for the count.  There is one up side to the equation.  I'm hard-headed.  I'm an Aries and we pride ourselves on proving people wrong.  So I'm looking toward tomorrow and preparing to face whatever challenge comes my way. 

Dealing with the Pain

I am starting to wonder if my problem is simply in my mind or if I am truly experiencing this continued, intermittent pain in my left foot following surgery last week.  The pain in not bad all the time.  My problem is that the pain is becoming more and more frequent.  I have tried to tough it out for the most part because I do not want to become dependent on pain killers to get through the day.  If the pain does not go away and the doctor does not have a game plan when I go to have the stitches removed on Friday, I may have to become a daily pill pusher.

No Proof Of Insurance leads to warrant for arrest

Following the no proof of insurance problem the nephew recently had, he was informed by the officer there was actually a warrant out for his arrest.  Apparently the nephew got a ticket back in the December and failed to pay it or appear in court.  Now he owes $300.  Really?  So even though he has insurance now to get out of the recent ticket, there is no way around the December ticket.  It's times like this that I wonder why I even try at all to help the boy.

WTF Moment - No Proof of Insurance

I made it a point to add the nephew's new car to my auto insurance policy asap so I knew he was covered.  I also made it a point to provide him with a copy of the insurance.  Please explain to me how he managed to go through a roadblock tonight and not be able to produce proof of insurance.  WTF?!!  You just got this car less than 2 months ago.  There should not be anything in your glove compartment except the owner's manual, the dealer paperwork, a receipt for one oil change and the damn car insurance paper.  To add to this bullshit, I think he called me while he was getting the ticket.  My response was "I can't bring proof of insurance to you while you at a roadblock. You will have to get the ticket and fight it on your own."  It's times like this that I fail to understand the youth of today.

Back to Work

Today was my first day back after my surgery on Monday.  I left home extra early to give myself time to get into the office and get situated considering my condition.  The good news is that I was able to get through about half my day without anyone who was not already aware of the surgery asking me any questions.  The bad news is that about halfway through my day, I started to encounter a little pain.  Not a whole lot, just enough to keep me alert.  I didn't want to take a chance so I started using my crutches.  Of course, now all of a sudden everyone was asking questions.  After explaining about the surgery for about the 7-8th time, things kinda settled down. I stayed seated as much as possible.  When it was time to go, I hobbled to the elevator and made my way to my car.  It was good to get back to work.

Day after Surgery - Very Graphic Post

Well, it's been about 24 hours since I was released from the hospital following my unsuccessful surgery.  I'm going to give you a run down of what happened and include some pictures taken by the doctor.  I warn you, the pictures are graphic and not for the weak of heart or stomach.  

Yesterday morning I got up goofed around the house until it was time to leave for the hospital.  We walked into the building around 1040am. The receptionist had me sign a bunch of paperwork about privacy, insurance and stuff like that.  We (wife and I) sat down and noted that the lobby was packed.  I went back up to the receptionist to ask about how long the procedure should take because no one was home to meet our 8 year old when she arrived from school.  She said the procedure should take about 45 minutes but the doctor had another surgery in front of me so it may take a while before he got to me.  Great! Eventually they called me to the back.  I got undressed and put on one of those ugly open back hospital gowns.  The nurse started my IV.  She shaved my leg above and below the knee area as a preparation for surgery.  My wife came back and we talked and joked about the surgery and what we overheard from other patients waiting to be seen.  The nurse who would be in the room with me came back and apologized for the long wait.  The anaesthesiologist came back and introduced himself also.  The nurse came back and offered my wife a drink or something to snack on.  She jokingly said, "you can't have anything!"  They finally came to take me to the operating room.  They injected some medication in the IV. I remember rolling down the hallway.  I remember entering the operating room and seeing the big lights.  The next thing I remember was the nurse asking what number to reach my wife at because it was time for my discharge.  Apparently my wife's cell phone was dead.  I called a friend and she offered to come pick me up.  As I was getting dressed, my wife showed back up.  I cancelled my friend coming and was discharged.  My wife explained that the doctor was unable to remove the tumor on my leg because it was on the main nerve.  Removing it could have left me paralyzed.  So he left it alone and will reach out to a plastic surgeon to see what alternatives are available.  So I survived the surgery.  Just didn't get the outcome I hoped for.  Now for those of you who have been waiting, here are the pics of the tumor.  Last warning:  the pictures are graphic and not for the weak of heart or stomach.

Feel Like I'm on Death Row

This surgery has me feeling like I am on death row.  The whole concept of "no eating or drinking after midnight" is killing me.  First of all, I work until 1030p-1130p most nights.  Therefore, I'm usually eating once I arrive home.  I had planned to grab something nice to eat to hold me over until after the procedure.  Last night I had to rush home and wolf down some food.  I hope I have enough in my system to get me past the time of this surgery.

Blackmail

Following my decision to let the nephew's now pregnant girlfriend stay with us for a while until they can get established on their own, I received the following text from my wife.

Her:  This may sound crazy but is he blackmailing you or something
Me:  Huh
Her:  I know that you will do anything to help someone out but I'm still in shock about you letting her move in
Me:  I saw how her mom was with her before she got pregnant.  Kinda feel sorry for her.  She trying to do right and I hope she can motivate him.  She just finished school so maybe she can help him with reading
Her:  Makes sense.  And I trust that you made the right decision for our family

What would make her think he is trying to blackmail me?  First of all, he probably can't spell blackmail more or less know what it is.  Secondly, there's nothing he can blackmail me with.  I don't know.  I guess some people always have a conspiracy theory running through their mind.

She Had a Bad Day

The wife had a bad day on Friday.  She got up Friday morning to go get copies of her medical records.  There was a cost of $20.  Of course, she didn't have any money.  To make matters worse, they would not accept just my card number - they needed the physical card.  Ok.  Move forward a couple of hours and she picked up our youngest from daycare.  She was presented with the bill.  Apparently this was too much for her to deal with.  She came to my job and sat in the parking lot texting and calling me.  She said she needed to see me.  When I finally was able to get downstairs, she explained what happened.  I told her to relax and I would get the medical records after work.  As far as daycare payment goes, they can wait til payday.  I just need her to realize she can't let little stuff like that bother her.  We can't afford for her to have any really bad days.

WTF - Child Support Payments

The nephew received a letter in the mail the other day from the Department of Human Services.  Knowing his limited reading ability, I opened it to determine the nature of the letter.  The letter explained he is currently $1000 behind on child support for his 2nd child.  I talked to him about the child support and he told me the payments were no longer being taken from his paycheck.  WTF?!! So you think just because they stop taking money out your check, you don't have to pay for the care of your child?  And if they stopped taking money out of your check, where the hell are these extra funds?  I talked to the nephew and made a life threatening statement.  I informed him several people had mentioned to me that based on his actions and the fact he was always broke but had no real bills, it seemed like he had a drug habit.  I politely told him that if he had a habit, drugs, alcohol or whatever, he needed to let it go.  I went on to tell him that if at any time I find out he had a drug habit and he brought that shit around my 3 little girls, I would wrap both my hands around his neck and choke the life out of him after I called 911 to come get me for murder.  He has called DHS and they are supposed to make arrangements about the past due payments.  I hope he gets everything in line before this 3rd baby arrives.

Pitter Patter of Adult Feet

The nephew tried to have a "man to man" talk with me yesterday about his current life situations.  He was once again asking for my advice and guidance.  At this point, I can't provide any new information.  He has gotten himself into a world I will never experience so I am unable to tell him what roads to take.  His current pregnant girlfriend spoke to me yesterday and explained she has been put out of her mother's house.  She asked if she could stay with us for a little while until she could find other living arrangements.  I thought about it for a little while and decided to say yes.  I talked to my wife about the situation and she reluctantly agreed. So now we will have the pitter patter of another pair of adult feet in the house.

Tomorrow's Surgery

With all that has been going on in my life and the lives of others around me, I've been trying to balance my emotions.  I have not been doing a good job of it.  I cannot get the surgery off of my mind.  I think my biggest concern is the "what if something goes wrong" thoughts.  Those thoughts are not so much my own.  They belong to others who opt to provide their opinion.  The doctor told me I should be able to return to work in a few days.  These negative bastards are talking about "you better take at least a week off.  you trying to rush back to work and you not gonna heal properly."  Anybody that really knows me can tell you, I don't miss work.  So after the doctor removes this crap from my leg and I give it a few days to relax, it's back to business as normal.  I'm just ready to be done with tomorrow's surgery.

Unwanted Results

My MRI follow up did not go as I had hoped.  I spoke with the doctor and he has decided the best option is surgery.  Nothing real intrusive.  Just a small cut in the back of my leg to remove what they are calling a "small tissue mass."  It's an outpatient procedure so I will not require any hospital time.  I'll just need a few days of rest.  At least that is what I am hoping.  I am actually more concerned about this surgery than I was when I had my vasectomy years ago.  I'm not too sure why.  I've told the people in my life that I feel should know about it and they are supportive.  Maybe their support will be all I need to get past these unwanted results.

Diabetes and the Continuous Monitor

I went to the doctor Thursday and received my training for using the continuous monitoring system.  Unlike traditional methods of pricking a finger at any given time to get a blood sugar reading, I now have a sensor that checks the blood sugar level every 10 minutes or so and transmits the data to my insulin pump.  I still have to stick my finger at least twice a day to make sure the sensor is providing accurate readings.  The good thing about continuous monitoring is that I can now see if there are any patterns as it comes to my sugar levels.  The bad thing about the system is that it has alerts set and once a problem occurs (high or low blood sugar) the monitor will continue to alert the pump until I am out of the danger zone.  Looks like I have to really focus and do right now or suffer the consequences.

Better to Give than to Receive

Continuing on my project from yesterday, I went through all of my youngest daughters' clothes and pulled out the items they had outgrown.  Usually my next step would be a trip to the local Goodwill to make a charitable donation.  I took a different route today.  I texted one of my co workers who had a daughter about the right size for some of the clothes.  I ended up dropping off a large basket of miscellaneous items including dresses, pants, shirts and coats to her.  She was very appreciative and said the outfits looked fabulous.  This is the same co worker who told me she would have to do something for me next week to make up for my birthday because money was tight this week.  I told her not to worry about my birthday and I was happy to give the clothes to someone I know could use them.  This is definitely one of those cases when it feels a lot better to give than to receive.

Nervous about the Results

I am really starting to get nervous about the results of my MRI.  The pain in my leg continues and at times it seems worse.  I was standing talking to someone yesterday when it hit me.  All I could do was close my eyes and grit my teeth for a few seconds.  I have never had any type of major surgery.  I don't know how I will function if I am not able to move around and do what I normally do day to day.  More importantly, I don't know how my family will function.  Maybe I am worrying over nothing.  I just have to wait until tomorrow morning and find out what the results show the doctor.

Birthday 2013

To say my birthday this year was a huge let down would be an understatement.  97% of the day was not even about me.  I spent my day focusing on other people and what they needed.  I drove a co worker to and from work due to car problems.  I took my two youngest daughters to the dentist.  I watched a movie online.  I pulled all of my daughters' clothes out of the room which used to be theirs (currently occupied by the wife's nephew) so I can try to organize them because I became enraged seeing their dresses in piles on the floor.  I went to work and that was it.  Yea you read right.  I got text messages from 5 people yesterday wishing me a happy birthday.  What really hurts my feelings was that the people I really expected to wish me a happy birthday didn't.  One person didn't even say "hi" to me.  Oh well.  Time to stop pouting and move on.  I guess when you don't make a big deal out of your birthday, no one else will do it for you.