I Wear My Life on My Neck

Right around the time I was asked to move out of the house, my middle daughter gave me a heart shaped charm.  She had started making bracelets and necklaces so she decided to give me one.  Since then, I have requested 2 more from her.  Each of these hearts represents one of my children.  I found an old heart-shaped locket I got from my mother in my storage.  I added it to the collection.  I used a piece of black string and made a simple necklace with all four of those hearts.  My girlfriend purchased a pewter necklace for me about a year and half ago with a pendant that reads "You're All I Need."  I added my wedding ring to this necklace. So I have reminders of 6 important people in my life on me most of the time.  I wear my life on my neck. 

I'm Done with McDonalds

About a month and a half ago, I had a very unsettling encounter at the McDonalds near my retail pharmacy job.  Since then, I've only been to McDonalds once (this was a different location and only because my oldest daughter wanted some fries.)  I had been to this McDonalds hundreds of times in the past due to its closeness to my job.  It's literally within walking distance - maybe 100 yards.  I grew accustomed to their less than excellent service but the ever changing staff let me know that this was not somewhere people came to develop lifetime careers.  On this particular visit, while I was waiting for my food, I observed an employee go outside and smoke.  He re-entered the building and did not wash his hands.  He didn't touch any part of my order but I felt it was important to alert management due to the possibility of cross contamination (don't forget - I work in fast food too.)  I asked to speak to the manager.  I told him he needed to make sure his team was following proper hand washing procedures because the offense could lead to a failed internal audit or worse, a store closure if the health department happened to come by.  The manager asked who the culprit was.  I pointed to the young man I observed go outside.  And this nigga went off.  He called me everything but a child of God.  I tried to explain I wasn't trying to get him in trouble - I was simply offering advice.  He was not trying to hear it.  I got my food and left.  I have not returned since that day.  For the manager on duty to stand there and listen to an employee verbally assault me without addressing the situation was enough to let me know that my business was not appreciated.  I'm done with McDonalds. 

TMI

I'm a very easy person to talk to.  Whether you are a life long friend or someone I just met, you talk I listen.  Recently however, I've felt like people are sharing a little bit too much with me.  Last night at my retail pharmacy job was a prime example.  I had a young man come in and ask if we had detox pills.  I told him we had body cleanse pills but not specifically detox pills.  He said he had a job interview in a couple of weeks and need to make sure he was clean for the drug test.  WTF??? TMI!!
Who tells a random stranger that they are concerned about failing a drug test for a job?  Later last night, a lady came in and we were talking about spending money.  I told her about the $200 I had given my wife this weekend so the kids could enjoy themselves at the family reunion.  The lady told me that her ex-husband was being an asshole and didn't want to give their son (who happens to be disabled) any money.  The husband made the comment that he wished he could sit on the couch and do nothing all day like the son.  Really?? Thanks for sharing but simply saying your ex-husband didn't want to give your son money would have been plenty.  And don't get me started on the convos I've had with people 10+ years younger than me.  I've talked about drug use, intimate wardrobe problems and sexual hookups like most people talk about the weather.  Smdh.

More Opportunities at Work

I've only been at the new job 3 months but I feel like I've learned a lot.  A couple of days ago my manager pulled me to the side to talk to me.  This is how the conversation went.

Him:  How's your home situation?
Me:  It's good
Him:  Do you think you would be able to travel?
Me:  (deer in headlights for a second). yea.  My kids stay with my ex-wife
Him:  So you could be gone like maybe Monday thru Friday
Me: yes
Him:  How much notice would you need?  A couple of weeks?
Me:  Yea. That would give me time to make arrangements at my other side hustles
Him:  Ok.  Cause we only have so many bodies in the office so I'm seeing who's available

I asked one of the other guys in the office about it.  He said he had not been approached about traveling.  I told him it was probably because he has a wife and daughter that he goes home to every day as opposed to me and my lonely ass.  I'm kinda excited about the potential to travel for my new job.  In the past, I was always worried about my wife and kids but the divorce has somewhat changed that.  This whole divorce thing may be what I needed to move on to the next chapter of my life. 

Be Careful What You Say to Me

I believe in reading between the lines when talking to certain people.  What a person says and what he/she actually means can be two completely different things.  I was texting an old co-worker of mine yesterday.  We have a pretty good friendship so I feel I can joke with her to a certain extent.  This is how the conversation went. 

Me:  wyd
Her:  Laying down
Me:  whatcha wearing? lol
Her:  ok Bob (her husband)
Me:  Oh hell no!  I got more game than him
Her:  (Thumbs up)
Me:  Now you can't lay there and tell me that as long as we have been friends, you have NEVER considered doing something with me
Her:  Omg.  Go to bed

So for those taking notes at home, pay close attention to her response.  She did not say that she had never thought about doing something with me.  She said go to bed.  Translation - she has thought about doing something with me.  She just does not want to admit it.  Be careful what you say to me.  You might get more than you bargained for. 

Telling More and More of my Business

As the days and months pass by, I realize I am starting to tell more of my business.  Most people that knew me prior to my divorce are unaware.  I don't have a social media presence so I haven't blabbed/bragged about it all across the net.  If you know me, you know I keep my personal business personal.  If anyone asks how is the family, my response is a typical "they're good."  I was at the grocery store a couple of nights ago and ran into someone I used to work with.  We exchanged the usual "haven't seen or heard from you and how are things going."  She then asked how was the wife.  I guess my sarcastic stare let her know something was up.  I told her my ex-wife was doing fine.  We then got into a nice conversation about what happened and all that jazz.  When I got home, I realized she was now one of the few people outside of my family who knows about my divorce.  As time marches on, I guess it will continue to get easier to tell more and more of my business and let people past my secure walls. 

I Like that Look on You

I am not a fashion whore.  I don't buy clothes just to look good.  I don't purchase celebrity endorsed items.  Hell, I couldn't even tell you the name brands of designer clothes.  My clothes now fall into 2 categories - stuff I can wear to work and stuff I will only wear in the comfort of my own home.  My wardrobe consists of items which are several years old.  I haven't grown and the shit still fits so I'm good.  I went to my retail pharmacy job the other day wearing my Nike shoes (gift from my former mother-in-law years ago), a pair of black Dickies (work pants) and a striped button down shirt (I think it came from McRaes ages ago).  I was being me so I didn't have the shirt tucked in.  I was speaking to one of the pharmacy techs and she said "I like that look on you."  I said thank you and thought to myself, "really?  you like this old shit?"  Guess that goes to show, clothes don't make the man - the man makes the clothes!

Is My Health Really Getting Better

Since taking on the new job back in February and getting new health insurance, I've been trying to do better in regards to my health.  By no means am I anywhere near where my doctors want me but I'm trying.  I've basically eliminated carbonated drinks from my diet (except on the occasional late night drive to mom's when I need something to keep me awake or when I have absolutely no other options).  I've gone back to being more conscious about the carbs in foods and taking my insulin accordingly.  That's where things get shaky for 2 reasons.  First, as I recently posted, being a diabetic is expensive.  Insulin and pump supplies are not cheap - even with insurance.  Sometimes you have to choose between medicine and food to eat.  Secondly, I've been encountering a lot more low sugar episodes.  I guess my body is continuing to adjust to me taking my insulin more regularly.  Unfortunately, this has led to many recent night of me scrambling for glucose tablets or juice.  So, is my health really better?  Guess only time and my doctors will tell.

What's My Worth

I was thinking about my 3 jobs yesterday and came to a realization.  The company I've spent the most time with is the one that pays me the least.  This is probably due to the industry the job falls into but it's still a fact.  I work in fast food (20 yrs), retail pharmacy (4 yrs) and technical support (3 months).  Amazing how your worth can be determined by where you work. 

Doing Right is Expensive

I recently read an article (I may misquote the figures here) that said there are about 30 million diabetics in the US.  About 7 million of those, ration out the crucial insulin medication needed to survive due to its high cost.  The cost of insulin does not include syringes to inject the medication, a glucose meter to test blood sugar levels to ensure proper dosage and other things associated with the disease.  Plus, depending on how serious the condition, a diabetic has to survive on a low/no carb and no sugar diet.  Personally, I thought getting a new job with better insurance would help more with my diabetes.  Don't get me wrong - things are improving with my health slowly but it comes at a high cost.  I'm on an insulin pump which means I need insulin plus the supplies for the pump to inject the medicine.  Doing right is expensive and I don't know how long I will be able to maintain. 

To Help or Not to Help

I am one of those people who would normally give my last to help someone close to me.  Working 3 jobs is starting to put me in a better overall financial situation.  I have set personal goals to pay off a few outstanding debts to keep moving in a positive direction.  I have a friend, however, who is in dire financial situation.  Having made what I consider unwise choices has landed this person in deep financial trouble.  I could reach out to my personal loan company and probably get $1000 to help this friend.  My concerns are:  1) This would put me further in debt and 2) I am unsure of when and if the friend can pay me back.  I'm currently between the good ole rock and a hard place.  Do I help someone who desperately needs it or do I just mind my own business?