My oldest baby is becoming a woman

Most parents will tell you that regardless of age, your children are always your babies.  I had to go by the house and pick up my oldest daughter to take her somewhere recently.  When I got there, she was not ready.  Dressed like a typical 20-something year old, she had on a sweatshirt, jeans and no makeup when I arrived.  I waited for her to get ready.  She returned with a wig that ran halfway down her back, a nice top, slacks and heels, plus her makeup was done. It was a complete transformation.  She had gone from being my little girl to a grown woman in a matter of minutes.  Either I'm getting old or my kids are growing up. 

My 2nd Greatest Fear

Failure has always been my greatest fear.  Not being able to accomplish something that I truly put effort into really gets to me.  My recent divorce is an example of such a failure.  My second greatest fear came up a couple of weeks ago.  I wasn't feeling well and was home alone.  I started to feel like it may be one of those cases where I needed emergency medical assistance.  What would normally happen would be me complaining and throwing up until my wife either forced me to go to the hospital or called an ambulance.  Unfortunately that did not happen and I tried to tough it out.  I survived but barely.  The episode made me think.  My second greatest fear, the fear of dying alone, has become a true possibility.  If I had passed out, it may have been days before someone found my body.  My second greatest fear is more of a reality than I would like for it to be.

Knock, knock. Who is it? Opportunity

An opportunity knocked on my door recently and I am still trying to determine if it is worth the risk.  While at my retail store job, I spoke with a customer who works for a local tech support company.  Based on what I said, he felt I would be a good candidate.  He provided me with his manager's email and phone number.  I gave my resume a much needed update since I had not been on a serious job hunt in 3 years.  I was then scheduled for a phone interview.  The interviewer liked our conversation and sent my information to the local manager.  I scheduled a face to face interview.  I spoke with the manager as well as 2 of the techs.  I think they were impressed with my skill set.  The manager asked me to come back and meet some of the other techs.  We're talking about 35k a year with benefits, vacation and 401k.  I've been crunching numbers to see if I can live off one job based on my recent divorce.  Opportunity is knocking.  I'm just hoping I don't let in a financial disaster. 

One Month Down, A Lifetime to Go

My divorce was finalized one month ago and filed in court.  It's amazing how things are supposed to change.  According to tax law, I get to file as "single" since the divorce occurred before 12/31/18.  I stopped wearing my wedding ring on my hand.  It now resides on a chain around my neck.  I still have not exercised my right to a weekend with the kids but that's because the divorce didn't impact my work schedule.  Many other things have happened since the divorce which I will discuss in other posts.  The most important thing is that I survived the first month. 

I May Be Done With Relationships

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my relationship status while waiting for the divorce to finalize.  I've realized that I've invested over 2 decades of my life with one person (for the most part). I had a few "challenges." Hey - I'm no saint and I admit that.  But I also know that even though I'm in my early forties, at this point in my life, I don't feel like going through learning another person like I learned my ex-wife.  I think I'm going to go back to my childhood dream.  I'm going to tackle life on my own and my sole companion will be a dog. Lol

New Year - Same Old Me

I often tell people I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions.  Now they may work for some people but I believe you can make a change any time, not just at the start of the year.  That being said, I'm starting 2019 off the way I ended 2018.  I'm going to be the same old me regardless.

I Hate When I'm Right About Bad Situations

Sometimes in life, you just have a feeling about a situation.  Something tugs at your soul and screams "warning" or "danger."  I had that feeling with the recent change at my job.  At first, I thought it was just the hater in me rearing its ugly head.  Unfortunately, it wasn't me hating.  The change has disrupted the balance I had worked hard for 2 months to build.  I'm almost to the point where I want to leave myself.