Ultimatum

Based on our current financial state, I have given my wife an ultimatum. She mentioned last week that she wanted to go on a trip with her family (sisters/mother) during the month of December.  She had no idea who was going to take care of our kids while she was away.  I asked her what was she going to do about monthly bills and christmas gifts.  Her response was that she planned to enjoy the trip and deal with the rest when she returned.  Bad answer.  So yesterday when I got home from work I explained to her that we could not afford for her to go on this trip.  I also explained that if she chose to go on this trip, that the locks to the house would be changed before she reached her destination.  She just scoffed and went about her business. I really hate to be this way but I have reached that point in my life. I realize that I might as well do it alone because she is not helping to better my life or our girls.  I really need for her to get on board.  If not, I will leave her ass at the bus station waiting for the next sucker to pick her up. 

I Must be Insane

I am one of those people who believe the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  With that being said, I now know that I must be insane.  I have been with the same female for 17 years.  What makes me think she is going to change her ways after all this time, is beyond me.  I have given her as much of what she has asked for that I can.  I don't ask for much.  I simply want her to stop being selfish and think about me and the kids before making decisions. But after 17 years, expecting her to actually do that is insanity on my part. 

Manipulation

Dictionary.com defines manipulation as:  to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously.  I've been thinking about manipulation a lot lately.  I've been pondering how much I manipulate others as well as how much they manipulate me.  The more I think about it, the more I am unhappy of the results.  My personality lends me to be very persuasive with a take charge kind of mentality.  I realize now that unknowingly, I am very manipulative.  Question is:  can I change that behavior and if so, how will it change who I am overall?

Thanksgiving 2011

I went into Thanksgiving praying that it would go much better than last year and for the most part it did.  My wife was at her mom's house with the kids for the holiday.  I went to work Thanksgiving morning and was sent home early because business was slow.  I had told everyone I would be enjoying Thanksgiving with my dog.  This did not turn out to be the case.  My nephew can back into town on Thanksgiving.  He wanted me to meet some female friend of his and asked could she come over to the house.  I agreed because I was in a real, "who cares" kind of mood.  We had to go pick her up.  We got back to the house. They decided to watch a movie so I fixed some microwave popcorn.  Of course, now it was nearly 6pm on Thanksgiving Day and my nephew gets hungry.  I make a last minute grocery store run to get supplies to make nachos.  I return to the house. My nephew and his friend are laying on the couch watching a movie.  I prepared the nachos and left them alone.  A couple of hours later we took her home.  I had been drafted to go Black Friday shopping so off I went.  We weren't able to score any of the major items on everyone's lists so we opted to call it a night.  All in all, not a bad day.  Nobody ended up in the hospital and everyone seemed to have fun.

What I Deserve

In my previous blog, I talked about my new vehicle that I am so proud of.  I had to go by my uncle's job today to pickup a computer to repair for him.  I told him to come outside to see the truck.  He was blown away.  He was very impressed with all the features and how the vehicle looked overall. He turned t me and said, "you deserve this.  you work too hard not to get something you want in life.  tomorrow is not promised."  I thought about how many of my friends, associates and family members have said almost the very same thing.  I guess I really do deserve nice things in life. 

Role Model

I take the Charles Barkley approach to being a role model.  I am not a role model.  I realize that my stance doesn't work well in most situations.  Whether in my work life or in my personal/home life, I am a role model to people even when I try not to be.  People look to me for inspiration.  People look at me as a hard worker, dedicated friend and dedicated father.  I guess even without trying, I am a role model.  

WTF Moment

Yesterday, I was in the process of cleaning the house as I always do on my day off.  The phone rang. No one that personally knows me calls the house phone.  I thought my wife was going to answer it but she didn't.  A minute later, my cell phone rang.  It was the credit card company looking for my wife.  They were wondering why she missed this month's payment and when she would be able to pay.  I told them I would call back with the info.  So at this point, I asked my wife was there anything she wanted to tell me about her credit card.  Now keep in mind she already know why they were calling. She told her friend on the phone "i'm gonna take this ass whooping like a grown woman" when she realized I was talking to them.  Her response? "dont have anything to tell you. is there something wrong?"  WTF?!! Before I knew it I had called a bitch. We've been together for over a decade and a half.  Up until yesterday, I had never called her a bitch out of anger or frustration.  I've been struggling with myself since I said it but everything seems to be ok.  We ate lunch together and joked.  I guess she realized how upset I was and that I didnt really mean it. 

Fresh Start

I decided to go and delete all of my previous blog posts.  I want a clean start.  I want to try this whole blogging thing again with a different outlook on life.  For those who were reading my blog for comic relief, don't worry.  As long as I am married, I guarantee you the WTF moments will continue.  So with that being said, let's get this party started.