The Cost of Being Sick

I'm well aware of the overall toll being sick can take on a person.  Being sick can drain you emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.  But for the purpose of this post, I am talking strictly about the financial burden that being sick can cause.  My wife got paid yesterday so I was looking forward to paying some bills.  We eliminated the daycare bill for the summer so we could try to catch up on the mortgage.  Life threw a curveball and my wife was only paid half of what she normally brings home.  So we are still at square one with the bills.

Bitch Better Have My Money

First of all, for those that have read some of the previous blog entries, please be aware that the "bitch" in the title is not my wife or the nephew.  I am actually referring to myself.  I am starting to feel like I am being pimped by my creditors.  Work as hard as I can and hustle every way I know how but can never get 2 steps ahead.  They call so much I have all of their numbers in my cell phone so I know who is calling before I answer.  I really feel like a little, scared bitch.

Why I Don't Take Vacation

Now that my vacation is technically over and my schedule is back to normal, I can discuss why I don't like taking time off from work.  First of all, I was on the phone daily with one of my peers from my full time job providing steps on how to get things done.  Granted there are others in the building that could have provided the information but I think she comes to me because I try to empower her on what to do.  In addition to that, one of my direct reports decided to resign during my vacation.  Rather than deal with drama upon my return, I went to the office during my vacation to make sure everything was taken care of.  Now on to the part-time job.  I found it funny that upon my return, my manager decided to tell me how well things went while I was out.  He basically said things ran better without me there.  If that is the case, then put the people that covered my shift in charge.  I will gladly take a demotion.  One mind is telling me that he was simply trying to push me to step my game up.   My other mind is saying what the fuck ever.  And le's not forget, during my "vacation" my wife went out of town with her sister and mother.  Therefore I had to be mommy and daddy during my time off.  Long story short, I don't take vacation because unlike others I don't get the chance to rest and relax. 

You Got Served

It's days like today that make the idea of making the nephew find his own place to stay easier.  I was returning home with my 2 youngest children when a police car pulled up.  The officer asked if the Jones family lived here.  I told him this was the Smith household but that my nephew's last name was Jones.  The officer indicated he was looking for the nephew.  The officer handed my a court summons with the nephew's name on it for July 9th at 10am.  You know it is serious when they hand deliver the document.  I'm 35 years old and outside of my recent jury duty, I have never had to deal with court.  I plan to keep it that way. 

Start the Countdown - Time to Grow Up

I spoke with the nephew yesterday and told him that I need him out of my house by the end of September.  I said this in front of my wife and kids so that there was no chance it could be misinterpreted.  I explained to him that due to my current situation, I could not put my name on anything to assist him so he really has to do this pretty much on his own.  He left the house and went to talk to one of his friends.  He came back later and asked if he had done anything wrong.  I explained that he had not done anything wrong but that this house was not designed for 3 adults an 3 children.  I also explained that I could not comprehend how he has lived bill free as far as rent and utilities for 8 months but has been unable to save any money.  I told him that I am doing this because he needs to be able to stand on his own two feet so that he can take care of his kids.  I told him I would continue to help somewhat but that he had to start making decisions on his own rather than always asking someone else.  I told him that he had to stop being so damn gullible and listening to his stupid ass baby mamas.  I basically told him it was time to grow up. 

And She's Back

The wife returned from her trip yesterday.  She told the girls that she missed them and how she wished they could have gone with her because of all the fun she had.  She showed them pictures and video of all the stuff she did while she was on vacation.  She tried to show me but I wasn't interested.  She talked about how her mother wants to go back.  She talked about how it would be nice if we could go as a family next year.  We could have taken a family vacation this year if she had actually talked with me and tried to plan something for all of us.  Nice to know that she enjoyed herself and that she has come back like nothing happened.  Let's see how things go from here. 

What I Want Vs What I Need

The events of this week have put a lot of things in perspective for me.  Taking a couple of days off have opened my eyes to much I have been overlooking.  I have realized that it is impossible to get what I want out of this life.  Maybe in a previous life or maybe in a future life things were or could be different.  But the choices I have made in this one have set the stage for what seems like a long, difficult road.  That's ok.  I have grown accustomed to not always getting what I want.  I have learned to survive the basic essentials that I need.  I'll leave all the extras for those around me who get to enjoy what they want in life. 

Anniversary 2012 - The Day After

This year's wedding anniversary has come and gone.  I guess in a sense we enjoyed ourselves even though my wife and I were 3 hours apart.  She got to spend time with her mother and sister and enjoy time away from everyday life.  I got to spend time with my mother and daughters and work on getting my house cleaned the way I want it.  I don't know what she has planned for today.  My plan is to continue my cleaning project.  Hopefully by the time she returns, the house will be in order and I can try to get her to help keep it that way.  I'm still just in disbelief that my 8yr wedding anniversary was not spent with my wife. 

Happy Anniversary

Eight years ago today, I stood in front of family, friends and God and said "I Do."  Today, I am home with my 3 daughters and my mother cleaning.  My wife?  She's 3 hours away with her mother and sister on vacation.  Happy Anniversary.  

Vacation 2012 - her side

Based on her decision to do what I consider selfish, my wife opted to invest $1000 into a vacation trip for our anniversary. I could not cosign on this trip because of the increased financial burden she was putting on us. The last straw was when she got paid at the end of May. She still owed a few hundred on the vacation trip. I talked to my wife and explained that we need to take care of the house bills first. We could decide on the trip later. My wife opted to pay for th remainder of the trip rather than pay for our daughter's summer school. This was the thing that pushed me over the edge. I told her that I could not agree to go on the trip. Since the vacation was non-refundable and paid for in full, she was basically stuck. She decided to take her younger sister on the trip. I hope they have a good time.

Vacation 2012 - my version

I decided to do something this year that under normal circumstances I would never consider. I opted to take time off from both of my jobs to have a little vacation. The original plan was to spend a few days out of town with the wife to celebrate our 8 year wedding anniversary. Circumstances changed that plan so I am now spending 4 days off at home. I was hoping to use the days off to finally spend some leisure time with my daughters. Unfortunately, my time off will not be a vacation. I spent $450 to repair a plumbing problem on Tuesday. There went any extra money I would have had to do anything fun. Plus my house is still a disaster area. My eldest has summer school and two little ones have camp. My vacation will be spent cleaning and playing chaffeur. Oh. Did I mention that this is the last week of my online class and that my final project is due? So much for vacation 2012.

Honesty

Blunt honesty is a trait inherent to an Aries.  If you ever want to know the truth about anything, ask an Aries.

Father's Day 2012

Father's Day, like every other holiday, is not a big deal to me.  I am a father of 3 girls. I take care of my kids 365. I don't need to be recognized on one day for that.  But my kids always come through with something to make the day memorable.  This year, with the help of my wife, they cooked lunch for me and delivered it to my job. It was a meat, 2 veggies and bread.  I was impressed and highly appreciative.  It's time like today that really make me thankful that I am a father and not a donor like the bastard that got my mother pregnant.  It's amazing that I am in my mid 30s and have never once had the chance to say Happy Father's Day to my sperm donor. O well.  Good news is that I have no desire to do so.

WTF Moment - God and Sex

I have to set the stage for this one.  I am no longer able to have kids per my doctor.  The following conversation was a text message exchange between myself and my wife on yesterday, the eve of Father's Day.
Her:  Can we have sex tonight?  I wanna make you a father again
Me:  We can have sex but you can't make me a father
Her:  I got God on my side and we make miracles happen
Really?  You gonna play the God card because you horny?  WTF?

Why I Work Hard

Anyone that really knows me will tell you that I work hard because of my daughters.  I work hard to provide for them.  That's the bottom line.  With that being said, today was an example of why hard work pays off.  I was at the store checking out when my cell phone rang.  I answered and it was the manager of the place I have a personal loan through.  He told me that I could come in today and get another $1000 if I needed it.  I declined the offer for the moment and told him I would see him if I needed the cash.  That's what hard work will do for you.  It provides you with options even when you don't need them.  It's times like today that I am hard that I work so hard. 

WTF Moment

The nephew provided a second WTF moment last night.  After I declined to give him any money, he left the house.  Now personally, I was thinking that if he couldn't afford a cell phone bill, he definitely shouldn't be driving around at night, but whatever.  A little later he calls me back and asks if he can borrow one of my phones. WTF?  Most people ask to borrow a phone to make a call because their battery has died.  He wanted to use one of the phones for a "little while."  First of all, there is no way in the hell you are getting my personal cell and calling or texting any chicken head that you deal with.  Cause if that bitch send me something crazy back or calls my phone we are going to have a failure to communication.  Secondly, what is the world makes you think I am going to trust you with my work cell phone?  He must have temporarily lost his rabid ass mind.  But that's ok.  I was awake, alert and fully aware of what I was saying.  I don't think I cursed him too bad.  If I did, he'll live. 

WTF Moment

I see now that I am going to have to start blogging more often.  These WTF moments are about to start rolling in.  This one comes courtesy of the nephew.  For those of you who are just joining our story, my nephew (by way of marriage) has been living in my home for the last 8-9 months.  During this time, I have not made him pay for anything.  He has lived rent and utility free for the entire time.  He has his own room (formerly my younger twos' room) and actually uses one of our laptops.  He's living the good life.  Last night he comes to me and asks if there is anything he can do to make money to pay his cell phone bill.  WTF?  I have down with this boy on more than one occasion to try and set up a budget.  I gives no fuck about your baby mamas conning you into buying stuff.  All I know is that he is tap dancing on my last nerve.  One wrong step is going to be all she wrote for him.      

WTF Moment

This WTF moment is brought to you through the courtesy of my wife and her never-ending attempts to try and get me to do things I don't want to do.  I told my wife last week that I was not going on the vacation with her because of the way she handled our financial situation after we agreed on what to do.  Since that time she has been trying to pull out all the stops to get me to go.  She has tried to make arrangements to get our kids to their summer camps.  She has asked a dozen times what it will take to get me to go.  But the icing on the cake; the thing that rubs that last nerve; is the fact that she has talked to my aunt, my mother and my boss trying to get them to take her side and convince me to go on this trip.  WTF?  I am a grown ass man.  I value the opinions of my mother, aunt and boss but bottom line is I'm going to make my own decisions.  Really though?  Who does shit like that? Common sense should tell her that rather than getting me to agree to the trip she is actually giving me more reason to stay my ass here.  

WTF Moment - Charge it to the Game part 2

A few weeks ago, I posted an item called, Charge it to the Game.  Well, things have unfolded in typical WTF fashion.  My wife and I had agreed that based on unforeseen problems, we would handle household bills first and then take a detailed look into whether or not we could afford the trip.  Well that partially happened.  My wife took care of her typical monthly household bills.  We had the added expense of our child's summer school tuition.  My wife had gotten a small loan so I assumed she would pay for summer school.  And when I assumed, she made an ass out of me (Ass-u-me).  Rather than pay for summer school, she paid off the vacation.  WTF?  How can you put a damn vacation before your child's future?  That's just some selfish shit.  Luckily we were able to pay for summer school with some other money.  But I hope my wife is happy because she has now invested $1000 into an adventure that will get charged to the game. 

Being Noticed

The dress code for my full-time job is business casual Sunday through Thursday and jeans on the weekends.  Typical dress for most business these days that don't have uniforms.  I decided to wear a suit to work yesterday.  No particular reason.  I've worn suits before and will continue to wear them in the future.  During the course of the day I got my usual comments.  "You must have an interview today."  "Where's the funeral?" "How are doing today reverend?"  The list goes on.  I take it all in stride and play along with the jokes.  While walking around the building I ran into one of the managers that I don't see very often because of our schedules.  She stopped, did a double take and complimented my attire.  I thanked her and continued on my way.  It's just amazing how something as simple as a suit can make everyone notice you. 

Two Weeks

I can't believe that I have not posted anything to my blog in the last 2 weeks.  I have not really been that busy.  I kept saying that I was going to add a couple of entries but never got around to it.  Guess I will try to play catch up now and get these ignorant thoughts out of my mind and onto the web.