Toilet Paper

My wife sent me a text message a couple of days ago stating we needed toilet paper for the house.  I did not respond to the message.  I simply stopped by the store on the way home.  I stored the toilet paper in the hallway closet as normal.  The next night, my nephew comes to me with a huge roll of toilet paper, the kind used in restaurants and office buildings.  I looked at him puzzled.  He explained he knew we were out of tissue and brought some home from work.  I applaud his attempt to help; however, I refuse to wipe my posterior with that sandpaper like material.  He can use that toilet paper if he wants.  I'll stick to the soft stuff.